


12 Men

by teacuphuman



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Christmas AU, F/M, How Arthur Got His Groove Back, M/M, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-26
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-05-16 09:02:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 24,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5822542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/pseuds/teacuphuman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An Inception retelling of the cheesy Christmas movie 12 Men of Christmas, in which Arthur's successful New York existence is turned upside down, he moves to Montana, and learns how much he was missing when he thought he had it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this before Christmas, but it's still a WIP. It's over halfway done, so postings shouldn't be too erratic. Hope you enjoy!

There are three things all New Yorkers strive for. The perfect job, the perfect apartment, and the perfect financee. Arthur Baxter managed to pull off that trifecta by never taking no for an answer, even if it made him miserable. 

 

“Colin, listen, I only need ten minutes of Susan’s time. It doesn’t even have to be in the office. Surely she has a dentist appointment, or a facial this week. Tell me where I can bump into her.” Arthur shrugged off his coat and tossed it over the chair.

 

“She’s had it all done already. It’s the holidays, and she’s determined to be organized this year.”

 

“Damn,” Arthur cradled his phone against his shoulder while going through the tidy stack of messages on his desk.

 

“Sorry, Arthur, I have to run. My girlfriend will kill me if I don’t get Coldplay tickets, and they go on sale in five.”

 

Arthur paused, scrolling through his mental rolodex for a useful contact. “What if I could get them for you. First five rows, plus backstage passes?”

 

“Can you seriously do that? Because she will literally kill me if I don’t get them.”

 

“Colin, my friend, consider it done.” Arthur smiled, jotting down the info he needed.

 

#####

 

“Arthur, this is a woman’s gym, how did you even get in here?” Susan scowled, filling her water bottle.

 

“The real question is, why is your current firm not seeing the glaring problem in your campaign-”

 

"God, you never give up, do you?"

 

"No, now I had some ideas about-" Arthur started.

 

“No, Arthur,” Susan smiled, pointing into one of the gym’s studios. “You can tell me in here.” 

 

Arthur fought to keep his smile from falling as he glanced through the open door at the twenty or so stationary bikes, set up in rows.

 

“You do spin, don’t you, Arthur?”

 

He choked out a laugh. “Of course.”

 

#####

 

Arthur limped into the office later that day, sore, but victorious. His assistant, Charlie, met him as he exited the elevator, already going through his missed calls.

 

“You arranged for a car to take us to the airport?”

 

“Yes, sir.”

 

“And everyone has my number at the hotel?”

 

“Yes, but I still don’t understand why you’d want anyone to bother you in St. Barts unless it’s an emergency.”

 

“Because I’m a professional, Charlie, and there’s always an emergency. Anyone else?”

 

“That’s it. I had your suit for the Christmas party delivered and it’s hanging in your office.”

 

“Good man. I just want to pop in to talk to Lillah for a second, then we’ll go over the plan for the Price account. Oh, and dig up some ibuprofen. A lot of it.” Arthur dismissed him, and straightened his tie. He plastered on a smile and opened his boss’ door.

 

Lillah was seated at her enormously hideous desk, dismantling some poor schlep over the phone. Arthur sat gingerly, enjoying Lillah’s colourful language, until she slammed down the receiver.

 

“I swear to God, Arthur, these people just get stupider. It used to be that a degree from a top-tier school assured you at least a little common sense. Why do I have to spell out everything, all the time?” Lillah smoothed her hair back into place.

 

“I got the Catsonas account.” Arthur said, picking invisible lint off his pants.

 

Lillah froze, then leaned toward him over the desk. “How the hell did you manage that?”

 

Arthur sniffed. “It was nothing.”

 

She eyed him closely for a moment. “Well, we’ll have a drink at the party later to celebrate. Besides you, Arthur, I feel like there isn’t another person in this company that gets it.”

 

Arthur smiled, enjoying his praise.

 

“Well, except maybe Robert, but you of all people know he’s not perfect.”

 

“Yes, but he’ll do.” Arthur stood, buttoning his jacket.

 

“With that trust fund, I daresay he will. Is Daddy dearest making you sign a prenup?” 

 

Arthur tutted. “Gossip is the devil’s radio, Lillah.” 

 

“Hmm, it’s also tomorrow’s headline, dear.”

 

Arthur paused at the door, shaking off the uneasy feeling that had settled in the back of his mind. “See you at the party.”

 

#####

 

Later that night, Arthur stood nursing a scotch and making small talk with his colleagues when a warm hand slid around his waist, pulling him a step back and into the shadows. Robert hummed against his neck, biting gently just above Arthur’s collar.

 

“You smell delicious.” Robert whispered.

 

“Do I?” Arthur grinned, pressing back into his fiance.

 

“Always. You look delicious, too.We should go up to your office so I can have a taste.”

 

Arthur turned to frown at him. “Are you drunk? Robert, there are clients at this party.”

 

“Oh, relax, babe,” Robert waved him off. “The only thing I’m drunk on is the sight of your ass in those pants. Jesus, you’re tailor is good.”

 

Before Arthur could respond, someone called his name from across the room. Noah Bates, youngest CEO of a fortune 500 company, and a loyal client, beckoned to him. 

 

“Always on.” Robert muttered behind him.

 

Arthur smiled at Noah, briefly holding up his index finger before turning back to Robert. “Yes, I am, and you should be too. I know it’s a party, but it’s still work. Work is important, remember?”

 

Robert sighed, taking Arthur’s glass and draining it. “Yes, dear.” He flashed a falsely cheerful grin and walked away.

 

The next time he saw Robert, he made a point to kiss his cheek and play the dutiful and doting fiance as Robert waxed poetical to one of his clients. When the woman had moved on, Arthur pulled him into an embrace.

 

“I know you hate these things, but it’s part of the job.”

 

Robert pulled away, running a hand through his hair. “I know, I just really need to talk about something other than publicity for five minutes.”

 

“I am happy to oblige. I made an appointment for us to do the menu tasting when we get back. The chef said-”

 

“You’re probably going to have to do that solo, babe. I’m going to be crazy busy with the Larousse account. I just don't have the time.”

 

“I thought you weren’t on the Larousse account anymore. Because we’re supposed to be making time to plan the wedding. I passed on representing Sarah North, Robert. She has six movies coming out next year. Six.” Arthur hissed, a smile plastered on his face so those around him wouldn’t notice he was very close to losing his temper.

 

“Lillah badgered me, what was I supposed to do? Besides, Larousse knows my father. He’s comfortable with me. I couldn’t turn him down.” Robert swiped a glass of champagne from a passing waiter.

 

“You could have, actually. We’re supposed to be making more time for each other. That’s what you wanted, right?”

 

“I do want that, but my career isn’t where yours is, Arthur, I can’t be turning down clients.” Robert drained the glass.

 

“Are you seriously blaming me for being more successful than you?” He couldn’t quite keep the hurt out of his voice.

 

Robert’s frown softened and he cupped Arthur’s face. “No, I’m not. Just forget everything I said. Let’s fly to St. Barts and spend ten days fucking, and fighting over centerpieces, okay?”

 

Arthur, shook his head, fighting a smile. “Yeah, okay.”

 

Robert kissed his forehead. “We should go smooze now, business demands it.”

 

“One more hour, then can leave. In two days we’ll be on our way to paradise. We can do this.” He squeezed Robert’s hand and slid past him and into the fray.

 

A half hour later, as Arthur refreshed his drink, his phone started ringing. He grinned when his sister’s face flashed on the screen. 

 

“Hey, Mal. I’m at the Christmas party, hold on a second.” He stepped into the hall, leaving the chattering and smooth jazz behind.

 

“There’s a Prada sample sale tomorrow. We’re going.” She informed him without fuss.

 

“Mal, you’re heading to Paris tomorrow night, don’t you just want to shop there?” Arthur laughed, feeling the alcohol buzz in his veins. He headed toward the bathrooms.

 

“Of course, but that’s no reason to say no to Prada.” She pouted.

 

“This is true.” He pushed the door open and set his drink on the counter. “All right, I’m in.”

 

“Good. Pick me up at nine.”

 

He smoothed down his hair and adjusted his waistcoat in the mirror as Mal nattered on about her trip. Behind him, a woman giggled and a stall door opened briefly before being caught and closed again.

 

“Mal,” Arthur whispered, interrupting her. “Guess what’s happening in the bathroom behind me?”

 

“It’s New York, I’d be disappointed if nothing was happening in that bathroom.” She drawled.

 

Arthur watched the couples feet beneath the stall. “Hey, he’s wearing the new Dolce & Gabbana shoes, nice.”

 

Arthur froze when the man laughed. He squinted at the shiny black leather, flashing below the door. He not only knew those shoes, he’d schlept them back from Milan for Robert.

 

“Arthur?” Mal’s voice brought him back to himself in time to realize he’d walked up to the stall door and pulled hard enough for it to fly open, sending two intertwined bodies crashing to the floor.

 

He stood frozen over Lillah and Robert as they laugh at their follie. Robert’s face fell as he caught sight of Arthur.

 

“Let me guess, she’s giving you your Christmas bonus.” Arthur spat.

 

“Arthur, please don’t make a big deal out of this.” Robert climbed to his feet, pants open and hands held out in front of him.

 

“I guess I don’t rate, all she gave me was a fruitcake.” 

 

Lillah stumbled drunkenly to her feet, tugging her panties up and her dress down. “Look, Arthur, you’re too smart not to know that sometimes things just happen, and once you process and accept them-”

 

“What did she say?” Mal’s distant voice broke in over the phone in Arthur’s hand.

 

“I’ll call you right back.” He told her, ending the call and sliding the phone into his pocket.

 

“Sweety, you know, I must admit that I misjudged him,” Lillah told Arthur, running her hand up Robert’s arm. “You’ve got a great one here. You really should be nice to him.”

 

Arthur scowled, a painful throb taking up residence in his head. He bent to pick up one of Lillah’s discarded shoes. When she reached for it, he bashed it sharply against the sink until the heel broke off, then he calmly handed the pieces back to her and fled.

 

The cab ride home was a blur of manic ranting and the hot sting of tears behind his eyes. He made sure to tip the driver well before he stumbled up to his apartment. He looked around at all the art and the furniture he and Robert had selected, and felt empty. He hurried to the bedroom and packed a bag, careful not to let his eyes linger on the bed. He couldn’t help but wonder if Lillah had been the first. Or if she was just one in a long line of secrets Robert had kept from him. 

  
He did one last lap around the apartment, making sure he had the essentials. It startled him to find that there wasn’t really any of it he couldn’t walk away from. He could start again. He was young and bright. He had prospects. He could leave everything and everyone in the rubble and live only for himself. With that in mind, he hailed another cab and called Mal to tell her he’d be needing her spare room for a while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Arthur reluctantly makes a plan.

Arthur was attempting to make a clean getaway the next morning when he tripped on the corner of a throw rug, scattering his box of possessions all over the lobby. He swore, squatting to retrieve his things. 

 

“Arthur?” Robert appeared in front of him with a rogue paperweight in his hand.

 

“Keep it.” Arthur spat.

 

“Look, I know I made a mess of things, and I realize the reason you haven’t returned my calls is because you needed some space, and some time to think-”

 

“Why did you do it, Robert?” Arthur interrupted.

 

Robert sighed. “A million reasons. Probably none of them good enough.”

 

“Just give me one good one.”

 

Robert stared at him. His lips parted, but nothing came out.

 

“I see. Well, don’t worry about it. I’m fine. I’m great. Do I look not great?”

 

“No, you look amazing, but-” Robert started.

 

“That’s because I could give lessons in amazing.” Arthur stood, straightening his suit.

 

Robert lifted the box into his arms. “I know this isn’t the right time for this, but I was wondering if I could get my key back.”

 

Arthur’s jaw dropped and he fought very hard not to punch Robert. 

 

“I’m sorry,” he stammered, eyes widening at the look on Arthur’s face. “I realize what that must sound like.”

 

Arthur blinked rapidly. “No. Thank you. You just made everything a lot easier.” He took out his keys and struggled to remove the key from the ring.

 

“I realize I acted like a jerk, and worse, and I don’t blame you for hating me, but in spite of everything, I still really care about you. If there’s anything you ever need me to do, or someone you need me to call.”

 

Arthur barked out a laugh, grabbed his box, and stepped into the elevator. “Believe me, Robert, I will never need anything from you ever again.” Just before the doors closed, he lobbed the key at Robert’s head.

 

#####

 

“Five pages, Mal,” Arthur ranted that evening. “My call sheet is five pages long and not one person has called me back!”

 

“Arthur, you need to calm down. You should go somewhere, relax a little.” She refilled his wine glass.

 

“It’s Christmas, everything is booked. I need to stay here and get a jump on the business.”

 

“Do you want us to stay home? I don’t think I should leave you alone right now.” She ran her hand through his hair, soothing him.

 

“No, I want you and Dom to go to Paris. You deserve it.” He took a healthy drink.

 

“But it’s Christmas. There’s nothing fun to do in Paris anyway, it’s all terribly boring.”

 

“Stop it. Since Mom and Dad are gone, Christmas means nothing to me, anyway. I’ll stay here and hold down the fort, it’s the least I can do for you.”

 

Mal pouted at him. “Well, you won’t be completely alone.” 

 

Arthur followed her gaze to the mound of fur beside her on the couch. “Right, the dog.”

 

“He has a name, Arthur.” Mal scolded.

 

Arthur emptied his glass. “Sure he does.” 

 

#####

 

Once Arthur gave in and stopped getting dressed, or showering, the next logical step was to watch every cheesy, tear-jerking Hallmark Christmas movie he could find on tv. At least then he could blame his tears and misery on Rob Lowe and those fucking Christmas shoes.

 

By the time New Years Eve rolled around, the delivery people all knew his name. The Thai place three blocks down even recognized his number when it showed up on their caller i.d. It was official, he’d hit rock bottom. Lillah had blackballed him and no one would return his calls. All those contacts he’d spent time and effort creating had splintered along with the heel of one stupid Gucci peep-toe pump.

 

When Dom and Mal returned from Paris, flush with joy and a positive pregnancy test, Arthur knew he needed to broaden his search and lower his standards. In the days that followed, he called everyone in his rolodex. Everyone. He’d had no idea there were so many ways to say ‘Don’t call us, we’ll call you’.

 

“How is this happening, Mal? How? I’m really, really good.” Arthur paced the kitchen.

 

“The best,” she agreed, piling more bacon onto her toast while Dom watched her with a frown.

 

“In one fell swoop I’ve lost everything. My job, my reputation, my 24-hour door man. I’m starting to look desperate.”

 

“You’re not desperate.” Mal insisted, biting into her sandwich.

 

“You’re a little desperate.” Dom countered before hiding behind his paper from Mal’s glare.

 

“What about the offer from Caplan and McGuire?” Mal asked, somehow making speaking through a mouthful of food look dainty.

 

“I can’t take that crappy, two-bit job offer from that fleabag agency. My reputation would be ruined! I just hate having to sit around, waiting for an offer, being like ‘Oh, I’m just biding my time, enjoying life, exploring my options.’ No one ever believes that spin.”

 

“Arthur, it’s a horrible economy, and you’ve only been looking for a few months. There’s a great job out there with your name on it, you just have to find it. And maybe take something else in the meantime.” Dom waved his cup in the air as he spoke.

 

“I’m not taking that job. I’m family, it’s your job to support me in my time of need.”

 

“We are supporting you, but if you’re still here when the baby comes, you get to be the nanny.”

 

“Hush, Dom,” Mal laughed.

 

“I’m just trying to motivate him.”

 

“I am motivated. Especially by that scenario.” Arthur reached for a piece of bacon, only to yank his hand back when Mal stabbed him with a fork.

 

“Okay, there is this one job, but it’s so ridiculous, it’s barely worth mentioning.” He admitted.

 

“When you’re living on someone else’s couch, every job is worth mentioning.” Dom said.

 

“Fuck you, Dom. Who lived on my couch through half of their final year of university when their roommates changed the locks, hmm? And I’m in your spare room, not the living room.”

 

“The spare room that will be a nursery very soon. And they had no right to kick me out, you know that!” Dom’s voice was filled with outrage and Arthur fought a smile. He was always so easy to rile up.

 

“Back on track, boys. What job, Arthur?” Mal asked.

 

“It’s stupid, the mayor of Kalispell, Montana wants to hire me for a year to start a pilot program to lure corporate retreats there.”

 

Mal and Dom exchanged a look.

 

“Arthur, that’s perfect!” Mal clapped her hands together. “Montana is exactly what you need! There’s less pressure, and in Montana, you won’t be constantly reminded of the life you lost in New York.”

 

“That’s because there is no such place as Montana. It’s just a big hole in the ground that says ‘Montana’. Don’t you remember Dad always told us the only people who live in Montana are the people who sweep the dirt off the sign?”

 

“You also remember your father was an alcoholic womanizer who made Bernie Madoff look honest, right?” Dom smiled.

 

“Maybe so, but he was very sincere when he said it.” Arthur argued.

 

“He was, he really was,” Mal admitted, wistfully. “But, Arthur, listen, you need this. You need some time to be able to think beyond the box, and this is it. You can do this job in your sleep. It will be like a paid vacation!”

 

“In Montana.” He frowned. 

 

“In Montana,” Dom agreed. “And not on our couch.”

 

“It’s a year. Twelve months. You’ll be back before you’ve even unpacked all your cufflinks.” Mal grinned.

 

“But what if no one here wants me back?” Arthur asked, running his thumb nail along the edge of a placemat.

 

“Oh, Arthur, they will. You’re still Arthur Baxter, nothing can change that. Oh, I have a good feeling about this!” Mal clasped his hand.

  
“Fine, fine, I’ll go. But if I fall into the hole, I’m blaming you.” Arthur growled.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur arrives and Eames make an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to have this done by next Wednesday, before I am overrun with moving preparations. I hate moving. It's evil and stupid. Especially with kids.
> 
> P.S. The next chapter has nudity in it! Teehee!

Arthur pulled up to the stop sign and consulted his map. “This is easy. This is not hard. I have a Masters Degree.”

 

He nodded and turned left. Twenty seconds later, he pulled a U-turn and headed in the other direction. His rental car’s navigation system mocked him silently from its perch. Forty minutes of nothing but trees and mountains had him seriously doubting his internal gps.

 

Nearly two hours later, after retracing his route and stopping on the side of the road to allow the sharp static of tearing his map into shreds to calm his frayed nerves, Arthur passed the sign announcing his entrance into Kalispell. 

 

Locating his rental house took another twenty minutes, and two stops for directions. When Arthur finally pulled up to the house, he took a moment to rest his forehead on the steering wheel, steeling himself to be polite to the man waving enthusiastically from the porch.

 

“Everything’s cable ready, and wired for the internet.” Mr. Dale explained, concluding the tour of the sprawling two-storey cottage.

 

“All this for $525 a month?” Arthur asked, for the third time.

 

“Is that too much?”

 

“No, no, God, no. It’s fine. But I’m only going to be here a year, at most, so I’m not signing any long term lease.” He said, firmly.

 

“Oh, that’s no problem.” Mr. Dale smiled.

 

“Right. Okay. Good.” Arthur nodded, still unable to believe this was his life now. 

 

He spent the night poking through the house. The furniture was sturdy, if somewhat floral in design. He figured he could survive it, considering in New York, $525 wouldn’t get you space in someone’s walk-in closet. 

 

The next morning he dressed in a dark grey suit, black vest, and a silver tie. It was a little flashy for his new position, but he intended to make a good impression. He pulled his bag and his coffee cup out of the car and congratulated himself on leaving the house early to allow for getting lost on the way into town.

 

Mayor Baker was waiting for him on the steps of the town office. Arthur smiled and shook his hand, dragging his eyes up from the crime that was the bolo tie draped around the man’s neck.

 

“I can’t tell you how happy we are that you’re here, Arthur.” He said as he led the way inside.

 

“Thank you, Mayor Baker.”

 

“Oh, Bob, please.” He grinned. “Let me introduce you to Ariadne. This is Arthur Baxter. Anything you need, Ari will help.”

 

“Great to meet you!” The young woman smiled, rushing forward to shake his hand, then wrapping him in a hug. “We’re so excited you’re here!”

 

Arthur laughed nervously, patting her shoulder. He turned back to the mayor. “Ah, we didn’t really get a chance to talk specifics of what you expect.”

 

“Oh, what would I know?” Bob shrugged and punched Arthur in the shoulder. “You’re the bigwig from New York. I’m a mayor to 19,000 people, if I knew how to deal with what large companies are looking for, I wouldn’t have brought you here to do your magic. Now, why don’t you get started, and we’ll talk again later, after my zoning board meeting.”

 

Arthur stepped forward to block the mayor’s path. “Just two little things.”

 

“Shoot.” Bob smiled.

 

Arthur squared his shoulders. “An assistant and an office.” 

 

Bob’s laugh cut short when Arthur’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, well, um, you and um,” he motioned toward Ariadne and the empty desk she was perched on. 

 

The young womani leaned over to pluck a wilted potted violet off the filing cabinet and placed it beside her, grinning. Arthur sighed. Better get started, he figured.

 

He spent the morning pouring through every promotional brochure Kalispell had ever produced. All six of them. He cleared his throat to get Ari’s attention. The young woman ignored him, typing at a truly alarming speed.

 

“Ariadne?” 

 

“Oh, yes? Yes, hi! Ari’s fine, by the way.” She spun around in her chair.

 

“Sorry to bother you. I’m trying to put together a list of activities that would appeal to corporate executives. Things they didn’t know they could do here, but I’m sure I must be missing something.”

 

“Well, there’s Glacier National Park, and Flathead Lake.” 

 

“Yes, and those are wonderful, but everybody already knows about them. I’m looking for something that will catch their eye, really create a splash.” Arthur’s good humour sank at her answering wince.

 

“I think people come here wanting to experience what they don’t have at home.”

 

“Yes, exactly.” Arthur nodded encouragingly.

 

“Wilderness adventures, rafting, fishing and hiking, and there’s golf.” Ari ticked the activities off on her fingers.

 

“Yes, let see, how is your theatre?” He opened up a new tab on his laptop and started a list.

 

“Well, we’re not exactly New York,” Ari joked. “But, Ray Prince does a great salute to Elvis.”

 

“Oh, that’s um, how are your museums?” He ducked his head, pretending to focus on his list.

 

“We don’t have that many, but the wildlife museum is really cool, and the Historical Society puts on a-”

 

“Wow, you know what? Thank you! You’ve been a huge help. I think I’ve got it.” Arthur interrupted.

 

“Anytime!” She grinned. “Hey, one night this week we have to go out for drinks. We have the best bars, and really great bands”

 

Arthur’s smile froze on his face. “Maybe. I’ll just get myself settled...”

 

“What are you doing a week from Sunday? There’s a barbecue to raise money for the search and rescue station. I’m working the bake sale, and I could really use some help.”

 

“A bake sale. Me?” 

 

Ari stared at him expectantly.

 

“Ah-absolutely. I’m freedom’s prisoner.” He spread his hands in front of him.

 

“Great!” She jumped up and bounded off.

 

Arthur welcomed the shock of pain as his forehead hit the desk.

 

#####

 

The Kalispell post office consisted of one woman and a wooden counter. Arthur joined the queue and checked his watch. It wasn’t like he had anything pressing to get back to, but he didn’t particularly enjoy wasting time in a line while those in front of him carried on. 

 

The postal worker, Diane, going by her nametag, laughed at a story told by a man with a British accent, who was holding up the line. Something about his sister in Tampa. Arthur huffed. There was a time and a place for such things, and as far as he was concerned, this was not it. The man leaned across the counter, practically falling into the lady’s lap. It was no business of Arthur’s if the man favoured older women, but did the rest of the town really need to bear witness to it?

 

When Diane started to giggle, Arthur decided he’d seen enough. He ducked under the barrier and approached the counter.

 

“I’m sorry in interrupt, but I need to pick up my package.” He smiled politely, ignoring the stares of the other people in line.

 

The man backed up, turning to him.

 

“This was left at my door.” Arthur offered.

 

“Oh, you need to sign it, hon.” Diane told him, darting a quick look to the man.

 

“Please, go right ahead,” the man said, loudly.

 

“Sorry, I’m used to doormen signing for me.” Arthur told her, pretending the man wasn’t standing so close that the zipper on his vest brushed Arthur’s sleeve.

 

“Oh, aren’t we all?” The man rolled his eyes. “You’re obviously very important, so I guess I’ll just wait.”

 

“Thank you.” Arthur accepted his package, smiling brightly at the man’s glare before strolling out of the post office. 

 

Arthur whistled on the walk to his car. It was good to feel like his New York self again, if only for a moment.

 

#####

 

Arthur rolled his eyes and emptied his wine glass as Mal droned on about the paint in the nursery, and Dom’s surprise weekend away. A babymoon. Ugh.

 

“How are you, my sweet? You’re so quiet.”

 

“Mal, I’m suffocating here. There is nothing going on, and nothing to do.” Arthur jumped at his chance to complain.

 

“Surely you’ve met some people, what do they do for fun?” 

 

“Horrible things, Mal. Fishing, and hiking, and everything outdoors. I’m living in a nightmare.” He whined.

 

“Poor, poor Arthur. Soon you’ll be counting your hair and peeing into jars.” She teased.

 

“That’s not funny.”

 

“Yes, it is. Oh, hold on.” Arthur heard the tv in the background grow louder.

 

“Turn on the news.” Mal told him.

 

He switched from the weather network to the local channel.

 

_ “-a sudden avalanche hit Glacier National Park in Northwestern Montana, burying two snowboarders. Search and Rescue workers risked icy winds and perilous conditions to locate the stranded men. We spoke to the squad physician, Yusuf Dwali, who stated the men were suffering from hypothermia, but expected to make a full recovery. Dr. Dwali believes that had they not gotten to them when they did, the men would have perished.” _

 

“Is that anywhere near you?” Mal asked, her voice hushed over the line.

 

“I think so. God, that’s terrifying.” Arthur shivered.

 

“You’re being careful up there, yes? I can’t lose you, Arthur. We need you too much.” Mal sounded tearful and frightened.

 

“Of course, Mal. Don’t worry. When have you ever known me to go anywhere near snow on purpose? Much less up a mountain? As much as I love buying shoes, I could never bring myself to buy ones necessary for that.”

 

Mal sniffed. “You’re right, I’m sorry. These damn hormones, this morning I cried when Dom left his plate in the sink.”

 

“That’s acceptable, he’s clearly a barbarian. What kind of animal does that? Is he allergic to the dishwasher?” Arthur smiled at Mal’s laugh.

 

“But you are being careful?” 

 

“I am, I promise.”

 

“Promise me one more thing?” She asked.

 

“Anything.”

 

“Get out and do something. Meet people, see a movie, anything. Don’t sit alone at home, you’re much too wonderful for that.”

 

“You know what? I am.” He agreed.

 

#####

 

The next day, Arthur dragged himself out of bed and into his casual jeans to man the bake sale table at the barbecue. Ari snorted at his cuffed jeans and leather boots. 

 

“What?” He asked, offended.

 

“You’re still wearing a button up shirt.” She pointed out.

 

“It’s an oxford. That’s casual in New York.” He argued.

 

“You’re not in New York anymore, mate.” A dark haired man laughed from the seat beside Ari.

 

“That really doesn’t need pointing out.” Arthur grumbled. 

 

“Have you met Yusuf?” Ari asked.

 

“No, but I saw your picture on the news. I heard you guys had quite the time on the mountain yesterday.” Arthur shook Yusuf’s hand.

 

“Indeed. We were fortunate to have Sam Simon loan us his helicopter. I don’t know what we’re going to do once he moves to Aspen.” 

 

“Why doesn’t Search and Rescue have it’s own helicopter?” Arthur asked.

 

“We’re funded through the county. These days, we’re lucky to get even our gear covered.” Yusuf said, plucking a cupcake from the display and biting into it.

 

Ari, swatted at him, but pulled a dollar from her pocket and added it to the lockbox.

 

“What we get doesn’t even begin to cover what we need for equipment, training, repairs.” Yusuf continued, mouth full.

 

“It doesn’t even come close,” Ari agreed. “And no one gets paid, it’s all volunteer. Yusuf works at the hospital, Dave over there is a plumber, and Eames beside him is a real estate agent.”

 

Arthur eyed Eames. He was the man from the post office. “Then why risk your lives?”

 

Yusuf smiled. “Because we love it here. This is our home, and the safety of our neighbours is important to us.”

 

“Even if our neighbours turn out to be arrogant tourists who refuse to obey warning signs.” Ari said.

 

Ari granted Arthur a reprieve when his stomach started to growl, and he went in search of something that wasn’t deep fried or coated in icing. He was checking his email on his phone when he stumbled, his right boot sliding into a patch mud and refusing to budge. He could see a few of the guys from the Search and Rescue squad watching him struggle to free his foot.

 

“Do you require a rescue, darling?” Eames shouted across the lawn.

 

“No, thank you, I’m fine.” Arthur replied to the loud squelch of his boot being released from the mud.

 

“Oh dear, you seem to have tarnished your shine.” Eames laughed. 

 

Arthur took out his wallet and handed a ten dollar bill the the guy at the merchandise table, then used his new Search and Rescue t-shirt to clean the muck off his boot.

 

“Perfection restored.” Arthur called back, catching Eames’ gaze lingering on his ass.

 

“It’s a damn shame. Dirty looks good on you.” Eames winked at him. Winked. Across the lawn, and in front of everyone.

 

Arthur felt his ears heat up. He stalked back to Ariadne, soiled t-shirt in hand.

 

“Don’t let Eames bother you,” Ari told him, stacking up empty trays. “Eames hasn’t had someone new to harass in a while, and I’m sure you make an appealing target. Your novelty will wear off soon.”

 

“He certainly seems to have a high opinion of himself.” Arthur sniffed.

 

“Yeah, shocking that he’s zeroed in on you.”

 

Arthur glared down at her. “I have no idea what you mean. So, this is how you raise money? Bake sales? People around here must really get into eating carbs.”

  
“Yeah, they passed a law.” Ari teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr at [teacuphuman09](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/teacuphuman09).
> 
> Comments and kudos are so very welcome and appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur sees a new side of Eames and hatches a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter, but chock full of nekked!

Arthur called Mal on his way to scope out one of his former clients properties. The chalet was empty, but Mr. Lazar was willing to rent it out for CEO’s and corporate retreats if Arthur could get his program up and running.

 

Mal was buzzing from her ultrasound that morning, reading him baby girl names from a book she’d picked up.

 

“Mal, I love you, but if you name her Neveah, I will disown you.” Arthur squinted at the road sign, certain he’d passed the same one twenty minutes ago.

 

Mal laughed. “I only said that to bug you, it’s a terrible name.”

 

“You could name her after Mom, or someone from Dom’s side.”

 

“The women in Dom’s family all have dreadfully plain names, my daughter deserves better. Arthur, are you lost? You sound lost.”

 

“Of course not, I’m taking the scenic route.” He frowned and turned around.

 

“I’m fairly certain all the routes in Montana are scenic.” 

 

“This isn’t my fault, you know. All the damn roads look the same!” He argued.

 

“Is it true there are no speed limits in Montana?”

 

“There didn’t use to be, but they changed it. Hey, can you do me a favour and send me a ten pound bag of Fairways Bold Blend coffee? Beans, not ground, obviously.”

 

“Do they not have coffee in Montana?” Mal asked, amused.

 

“I’m not going to dignify that with a response. Look, I have to go, I finally found the place.”

 

“All right, I’ll email you a list of names tonight, and I’ll have Dom pick up your coffee. Don’t get lost on the way home!”

 

“I didn’t get lost!” He growled, but she’d already hung up.

 

He pulled his camera from of his bag and climbed out of the car. The chalet was exquisite. Modern meets country chic, with just enough rustic charm to make you want to abandon the city and stay forever. Well, almost. Arthur wandered around the grounds, snapping pictures to entice the city dwellers he was after. He paused on the back deck, looking out over the valley that stood in as the chalet’s own private backyard. 

 

“Incredible.” He whispered, startling when he heard a splash. Someone was swimming in the pool below. 

 

Arthur rushed down the steps to the flagstone patio. Clothes were heaped onto the coffee table, and Eames was doing casual laps from one end of the pool to the other.

 

“You again,” Arthur stood with his hands on his hips. “What the hell are you doing here?”

 

“Darling! Can I help you?” Eames wiped water out of his face.

 

“You do this realize this is a private residence?”

 

“Uh, yes, I am aware of that.” Eames smiled.

 

“You’re not Charles Lazar. The man who owns this property?” Arthur scowled as Eames swam closer.

 

“Not the last time I checked, no. But I did find this house for him, and he lets me use it when he’s out of town.”

 

“Oh. I see. Forgive me, I wasn’t aware you two had an arrangement.” Arthur glanced away, noting the pair of boxer briefs on top of the pile of clothing.

 

“No harm done. Care to join me? You look like you could stand to loosen up a bit. Swimming can be very relaxing, you know.” Eames’ eyes roamed over Arthur.

 

“No, I’m afraid I have more important things to do.” Arthur resisted the urge to tug at his jacket, a nervous habit he’d overcome years ago.

 

Eames hoisted himself out of the pool to stand naked and dripping, barely three feet away at the edge of the pool. Arthur couldn’t help but take in every cord of muscle and trail of ink that covered the man’s body. Eames let Arthur look, grinning widely when Arthur’s eyes shot from his half hard cock to his face.

 

“Are you enjoying the view, darling?”

 

Arthur’s eyes slid back down to Eames’ groin. “Let’s just say Montana’s not all it’s cracked up to be.”

 

“Don’t worry, it’ll grow on you.” He winked.

 

Arthur scoffed. “Don’t count on it. I’m going inside to take more pictures.”

 

“Don’t leave on my account.” Eames reached for a towel.

 

“I’m not,” Arthur let his eyes drift back down the man’s body. “I believe I got what I came for.”

 

“I’m flattered.” Eames spread his arms wide.

 

“Don’t be.” 

 

Arthur left him standing by the pool’s edge and entered the house, heart pounding. His memory was quickly supplying his cock with all it needed to convince him to go back out there and throw himself at Eames. He hadn’t gotten laid in months, and all that tanned and tattooed skin had him contemplating the ethics of jacking off in the bathroom of a client’s house. 

 

He shook himself and mashed the heel of his hand into his cock, urging it to go down. Eames by the pool might make an appearance in his spank bank later, but he certainly wasn’t going to give in and do anything with the man just outside.

 

He gathered his wits and finished up with the interior of the house. When he returned to his car, Eames was sitting on the hood.

 

“Get off my car! You’ll dent it.” Arthur pulled him away, closely inspecting the paint.

 

“Calm down, the car is fine.” Eames said. “I was wondering if you needed help finding your way down the mountain. Wouldn’t want you to get lost. Again.”

 

“Excuse me?” Arthur folded his arms across his chest.

 

“Your reputation proceeds you, Mr. Baxter.” Eames smirked.

 

“Better to have a reputation than to be invisible, Mr…” Arthur stared at him expectantly.

 

“Eames.”

 

“What, Eames Eames?”

 

“No, just Eames.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back on his heels.

 

“Just Eames. Seriously?” Arthur frowned.

 

“Careful now, I was going to make you an offer.” Eames’ gaze went dark.

 

“I don’t think I’m interested in the kind of offer you’re likely to make.” Arthur lied.

 

“I have a business proposition for you. That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? For business.”

 

“Yes,” Arthur answered cautiously.

 

“Well, I happen to know of more places like this that sit empty for eight to ten months out of the year. I’m willing to introduce you to some of my clients who might be interested in opening their homes to guests.”

 

“And why would they do that?”

 

Eames shrugged. “Tax purposes, mostly. The houses become income instead of sitting static on the books.”

 

“Right, and what do you get out of it? Some kind of kickback, I assume?”

 

“Do you really think so little of me, darling?”

 

“I don’t think of you at all, Mr. Eames.” Arthur smiled blandly.

 

“You’re a terrible liar, Arthur.”

 

Arthur shivered at his name rolling off the other man’s tongue.

 

“All I ask is that an ad for my brokerage be placed in every brochure you send out. It doesn’t even have to be a big ad, business card size will do.”

 

Arthur chewed his lip, considering any hidden agenda the man might have. Besides business from any possible sales, Arthur didn’t see what Eames might gain from helping, and he couldn’t fault him for looking to drum up clients.

 

“Why would you help me for so little?”

 

Eames sighed. “This is my home, Arthur. I care that it does well. If having these companies visit here will help the town, then I’m all for it.”

 

“All right,” Arthur nodded. “I’ll have to clear it with the mayor, but i don’t see that it would be an issue. Thank you.”

 

Eames beamed. “Excellent! Now, I could use some lunch, what about you? I live just over the ridge there, and I make a mean grilled cheese.”

 

“Ah, oh, no, I don’t think so. I really need to get back to the office.” Arthur shoved his camera back in his bag and opened the car door. 

 

Eames’ smile wavered. “Oh. Perhaps another time, then.” 

 

“Good day, Mr. Eames.” He slammed the door and tried not to look like he was running when he peeled out of the drive. In the rearview mirror, Eames watched him until Arthur crested the hill and he was blocked from view.

 

#####

 

“I cannot believe he carried on a conversation completely nude,” Ari giggled the next morning. “Oh, wait. Yes, I can.”

 

“Does that often, does he?” Arthur took a sip of coffee.

 

“Hmm, I haven’t heard any naked stories yet, but Eames lives to rile people up, so it wouldn’t surprise me.”

 

“I just don’t get why I seem to be his latest target.”

 

Ari stared at him. “Seriously?”

 

“Yes, seriously. Why, do you know something?” Arthur frowned.

 

“Oh, Arthur, you’re adorable!” She reached out and pinch his cheek, making him flail backwards.

 

“That was absolutely uncalled for, and I will thank you never to do it again.” He rubbed at his face.

 

“Aww, are you blushing?” 

 

Before Arthur could deny it, Yusuf banged through the office door with a large box.

 

“Hello, hello! I come bearing gifts!” He grinned at Ari.

 

“Oh, what did you bring me?” She rubbed her hands together.

 

“Okay, when I said gifts, I may have been overselling it a little. They’re leftover calendars from the bank. They said they’ll just recycle them, and I thought you might know how to put them to use.” 

 

“Well, I’m sure we can find somewhere for them.” Ari frowned at the box.

 

“So, Arthur, how are you settling in?” Yusuf glanced at him over Ari’s head. 

 

“Fine, fine.” Arthur smiled.

 

“He doesn’t like Eames.” Ari said.

 

“Ari-”

 

“Oh, that’s not unusual. What’s he done this time?” Yusuf asked.

 

“Nothing, really, it’s fine.” Arthur insisted.

 

“He left a love note on Arthur’s car this morning.” Ari laughed at Arthur’s look of relief.

 

“It was not a love note, it was an insult.” Arthur shook his finger at her.

 

“What did it say?” Yusuf asked, glancing between them.

 

Ari pulled the note out of the recycling bin and read it out. “Darling, today’s suit is much more fetching.”

 

“Oh, that’s nice, isn’t it?” Yusuf smiled.

 

“No, it’s not. It’s a dig at yesterday’s suit.” 

 

Ari rolled her eyes. “It’s a compliment, Arthur.”

 

“It’s a backhanded compliment, and I’m not talking about this anymore. We all have work to do. Yusuf, shouldn’t you be at the hospital?” Arthur sat down and opened his laptop.

 

“Probably,” he shrugged. 

 

“I’m taking Arthur out for drinks later, maybe you’d like to join us?” Ari smiled up at him.

 

“I would, but we have a squad meeting at the rescue station tonight.” 

 

“No biggie, we can do it another time.”

 

“Yeah, absolutely, another time.” Yusuf nodded.

 

Arthur watched the two of them smile awkwardly at each other for a minute before clearing his throat.

 

“Thanks for the calendars.” He said.

 

“Oh, right!” Yusuf blushed, shuffling around Ariadne, toward the door. “No problem. Bye.”

 

Arthur raised his eyebrows at Ari as the door closed. “What is going on between you two?”

 

“Oh, you know how it is, girl meets boy, girl pursues boy, boy takes two steps closer and one step back as he dances around girl while she waits for him to get his shit together.” She flipped through one of the calendars.

 

Arthur hummed. “I see. These calendars kind of suck.”

 

Ari laughed. “Yes, they do. Why do you think we have so many left over? We ran an amateur photography contest last year and the winner got to have their pictures showcased.”

 

“But even amateurs would have difficulty screwing up the scenery around here.”

 

“Oh, Arthur, is our little town growing on you?” Ari pressed her hand to her heart.

 

“Shut up. Seriously though, these are terrible.”

 

“Mayor Bob’s daughter won the contest.”

 

“Wait, how was she even eligible if this office ran the contest?” Arthur frowned.

 

“That is an excellent question!” She clapped her hands together. “One I was told very loudly not to ask.”

 

“Awesome. Well, I doubt anyone would want to hang these on their wall. I’m sure you’d rather look at a picture of Dr. Dwali and his stethoscope.” Arthur nudged her with his hip.

 

Ari snorted. “Wouldn’t you? At least I can use these as kindling. I hope you’re ready to drink tonight because I need-”

  
“Hold on,” Arthur held up his hand, his mind racing around an idea. “Change of plans. There’s someplace else we need to be.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eames gets a bee in his bonnet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time to ratchet up the UST.

“Um, excuse me, did you say naked?” Dave asked with a nervous laugh.

 

The entire Search and Rescue squad had been surprised when Arthur and Ariadne showed up to interrupt their meeting, but they’d agreed to sit and listen to their proposal.

 

“Like, totally?” Eric, Arthur’s postman asked.

 

“That’s the basic idea of a nude calendar, yes.” Arthur told him.

 

Someone started coughing loudly at the back of the room. Arthur raised his head to find Eames leaning on the windowsill, covering his smile with his hand.

 

“Do you need a glass of water, Mr. Eames?” he asked.

 

“No, no, but I believe you need your head examined if you think resorting to cheap gimmicks is a good idea.”

 

“I am literally shocked to hear those words come out of your mouth in that order. In fact, I may need medical attention.” He turned his attention back to the men who had begun to voice their reactions.

 

“Guys, just hear me out. In the past, your fundraising efforts, despite their sincerity and calorie count, haven’t showcased your true assets. Now, you guys are great at what you do, amazing, but you need new and updated equipment to do your job. What’s going to happen when there’s another avalanche and you don’t have a helicopter to borrow?”

 

“He has a point,” A guy named Jason said, winking at Arthur. “If tourists are worried about their safety, they’ll start going to Idaho, or Aspen.”

 

“Thank you,” Arthur said, flushing a little. What was with all the winking in this town?

 

Dave raised his hand. “I don’t think I can pose in my birthday suit. I haven’t even been in a bathing suit since I was like, twenty-two.”

 

Some of the other men chuckled, nodding in sympathy.

 

“Think of this as more sexy, than naked, but with humour, and in good taste. You won’t have to worry about your kids or your granny seeing anything scandalous. No one is actually going to see anything, you’ll have props to cover up-”

 

“Cover what?” Eames asked.

 

“Cover certain... body parts.” Arthur waved his hands in a vaguely circular manner around his waist.

 

“I think he means with what kind of things.” Henry, the dentist, said.

 

“Oh, right,” Arthur saw Eames smirk. “Sorry. Tools of your trade, like an axe, a snowblower. Helmets.”

 

The men laughed, a few shaking their heads.

 

“Darling, are you sure they make tools big enough to be of use to us?” Eames asked, drawing more laughter.

 

“From what I’ve seen, Mr. Eames, you won’t have an issue.”

 

Someone whistled lowly and Ariadne’s eyes went wide at the back of the room. 

 

Eames’ smile vanished, and he glared at Arthur. “This is a tired idea and it’s been done to death. We’d have to sell out completely to see any money back, and the start-up cash you’re asking for would drain what we’ve already raised. Not to mention the possibility of alienating clients in our professional lives.

 

“See, that’s where you’re wrong,” Arthur told him. “Les, you own the kitchen design store, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Les shifted uncomfortably in his chair.

 

“Is it safe to say that most of your clients are women?”

 

“Yeah, a good majority.”

 

“So when it comes time for them to resurface their cabinets, who better for the job than the hot Search and Rescue guy who has been keeping them company all month long from the calendar on the wall.” 

 

Eames stepped forward. “Listen, this has been done a million times and I don’t think-”

 

“This idea isn’t about you, Eames.” Jason spoke over him. 

 

Eames’ jaw twitched as he glared at the other man.

 

Dave raised his hand again, drawing Arthur’s attention. “Don’t you think some of us might be past our best before date, here?”

 

“Yeah, who’s going to want to buy a picture of him?” A man named Scott laughed.

 

Yusuf leaned forward from his spot beside Ari and smacked Scott in the back of the head.

 

“You know what?” Ari spoke up. “You’re real men, and there is nothing more appealing and sexy than a man who’s comfortable in his own skin.”

 

“Exactly,” Arthur pointed at her, regaining the room’s focus. “Exactly! Now, I know this idea is slightly unconventional, but you guys need to raise a lot of money, and yes, you don’t know me yet, but I’m asking each of you to take a leap of faith. When I moved here I discovered that this station is at the core of Kalispell. Every family has been touched by it, and depends on it. You’re right to be proud of what you do, and I hope you’ll all do whatever it takes to get the rescue station you, and this community, deserve.

 

Most of the men were nodding along, a few even smiling. Ari gave him a thumbs up and Yusuf slid a hand over his stomach in an assessing manner. Arthur’s eyes slid to Eames where he stood, arms crossed tight over his chest and a thunderstorm brewing behind his grey eyes.

 

#####

 

The next morning, Arthur was sending off queries to a few photographer friends when Eames sauntered into the office.

 

“Good morning, Mr. Eames, can I get you some coffee?” Arthur smiled sweetly.

 

“No thank you, I just came by to tell you-”

 

“I’m glad you did, we should get moving on this project immediately.” Arthur opened up one of the spreadsheets he’d prepared.

 

“The squad voted no. But thank you for thinking of us.” He turned to go.

 

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean they voted no?”

 

“Look, we’re funded through the county-” He began, raising his finger and approaching Arthur.

 

“In this economy, you’re going to-” Arthur stood, stepping around his desk.

 

“I know that! That’s why we supplement our fundraising with-” Eames raised his voice.

 

“With what? Pancake breakfast? Bake sales? Even if the entire state of Montana had a bake sale, you still wouldn’t raise enough money to-” Arthur stopped, only inches away from Eames in the small office. He smoothed his hair down and smiled tightly. “I’m sorry, do you not want new equipment?”

 

Eames’ squared his shoulders. “What I don’t want is to make a joke of the Rescue Squad.” 

 

“Explain this to me then, because I’m obviously missing something.”

 

“Yes, obviously.” Eames huffed.

 

“So, you don’t mind being naked, even in front of complete strangers, but you won’t pose, even partially covered, to raise money for something you profess to believe in?”

 

Eames studied him for a moment. “Why is this so important to you?”

 

“I was brought here to lure corporate retreats. People aren’t going to spend money where they don’t feel safe.” 

 

“Oh, so you’re doing this for purely altruistic reasons!” Eames threw his head back. “To help people who you’ll never see or think about again, once you’ve gone, with no thought whatsoever as to how this will benefit your own career.”

 

“That’s unfair on so many levels, Eames. You’re saying it’s bad if I look good?” Arthur snapped.

 

“Shhh,” Eames held a finger to his lips. “You wouldn’t want anyone to hear you, lest you get knocked off your pedestal.”

 

Arthur stepped back, unsure of how to react to the spite in Eames’ words. He startled when Ari came through the front door, making the bell jangle and jolting Eames out of saying whatever snide remark he had lined up. Eames blinked at him, making an abortive attempt to reach out with his hands before turning and storming out the door. 

 

Ari watched him go with wide eyes. “Okay, what did I miss?”

 

“That man,” Arthur began, pacing in front of his desk. “That man is unhinged.”

 

“No, he just gets...passionate about things.” Ari protested.

 

“About stopping people from helping the squad?” 

 

“Okay, I don’t get that either, but I’m sure he has a good reason.”

 

“You know what?” Arthur went back to his computer, pulling up the Search and Rescue website. “There are thirteen men on that squad and only twelve months in the year. I don’t need him to pose.”

 

“I don’t know, Arthur, maybe you should just drop it.”

 

“Why on earth would I do that? If Eames thinks he can scare me off, he’s got a surprise coming. I’m from New York, I don’t scare easily.”

 

“I just don’t want you to be upset if it doesn’t happen.” Ari said.

  
Arthur slid his bag over his shoulder and started for the door. “Oh, it’s happening.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Find me on tumblr at [teacuphuman09](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/teacuphuman09)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur communes with nature and gets some dirt on Eames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I realize that this fic doesn't have a whole lot to do with Christmas for something that's based on a cheesy Christmas movie, but that's what you get when you have a story that spans a whole year. Besides, if they shot the calendar in Montana during the winter, they wouldn't need to cover the men's goods, because I'm pretty sure everything would just retreat inside their bodies.
> 
> P.S. I have no idea why it's doing the double note thing at the end of the chapter. Apparently AO3 just really likes that note and thinks it belongs on every chapter. Go figure.

Arthur spent the next month convincing the other members of the Rescue Squad to pose for the calendar. He smooth talked wives, pitted brothers against each other, even tried to bribe a local officer to threaten to arrest anyone who said no. Henry didn’t take the bribe, but he did agree to pose after Arthur appealed to his sweet tooth with a box of imported swiss chocolate.

 

While out procuring commitments, Arthur became an expert at avoiding Eames around town. If he didn’t know better, he’d think the man had nothing better to do than try to keep Arthur from leaving his office. 

 

His luck ran out one Saturday while he was mailing a package to Mal. Arthur turned from the counter and almost collided with Eames, who was looking rather nervous about being in his presence.

 

“Well, Mr. Baxter, it looks like we have something in common after all.”

 

“Yes, imagine my surprise that more than one person makes use of the US Postal Service.” He moved to the side to fill out Mal’s address.

 

Eames grimaced. “Are you enjoying your day?”

 

“Just running errands. You’ll be surprised to learn that I haven’t gotten lost even once today.” Arthur replied, his pen nearly tearing through the adhesive label.

 

“Well, it’s not even noon yet, still plenty of time.” Eames told him.

 

Arthur glared and brushed past, giving the woman at the counter a tight smile and his package. 

 

“I’m about done with my errands,”  Eames shuffled the box he was holding. “I always go to this little brunch place down the block.” 

 

“Good for you.” Arthur said, heading for the door.

 

“It’s really good. Great food.” Eames continued.

 

“Well, you enjoy yourself. Hey, do you know where the nearest Kinko’s is? Since the calendar is actually happening now, despite your negativity, I’ll need to find somewhere to do all the copying.” Arthur smiled, feeling righteous.

 

“We don’t have a Kinko’s.” Eames said tightly. 

 

“Hmm, this town doesn’t have much, does it? Oh well, it’s not like I’ll be here forever.”

 

Eames’ jaw twitched. “You’re welcome to leave now.”

 

“Oh, I couldn’t do that! I have a calendar to put out.” Arthur winked and pushed through the door.

 

#####

 

One of the last holdouts for the calendar was Jason, who insisted Arthur needed to experience the benefits of the area before he could ask people to come stay here. That’s how Arthur found himself one Sunday afternoon, dressed in waders, thigh-high in a river bed. Jason was behind him, trying to explain the finer points of fly fishing.

 

“You have to flex the rod.” Jason said, showing Arthur the motion again.

 

“I swear, deep down, I’m an outdoorsy person.” Arthur insisted as he tried casting again.

 

“Don’t worry about it, you look good enough in your suits to make up for your total lack of fishing talent.” Jason laughed.

 

“Is fishing even a talent?”

 

“Oh, yes. You know, I think I’m going to make you sign up for a private lesson before I agree to pose.” Jason said, stepping closer, his chest pressing along Arthur’s back.

 

“I thought that’s what this was.”

 

“Oh, no, private lessons are much more hands on.”

 

Arthur turned, stepping back a little. “Look, I just wanted to thank you for supporting this idea from the start. I know you’ve been working to convince the other guys.”

 

“I don’t know what the big deal is, I’m in favour of any excuse to display the wares.” Jason reached out to Arthur, just as the line gave a solid tug, pulling Arthur off balance and into the rushing water.

 

He flailed, trying to keep a hold of the rod as Jason gripped him around the waist and hauled him back up. Arthur pulled hard on the line, sending them backwards into the water when it snapped. He fell, laughing and soaked, into Jason’s lap.

 

“It got away!”

 

“It did,” Jason agreed, smiling. “But I seem to have caught something quite tasty.”

 

Arthur sobered as Jason leaned forward and kissed him. The kiss was nice, if a little overenthusiastic on Jason’s part, but Arthur pulled back after a few moments.

 

“Um, we should probably get out of the river before we drown.” He didn’t wait for Jason to protest before climbing to his feet. He smiled, and offered the man a hand up.

 

Jason loaned Arthur an extra pair of sweatpants and a flannel shirt from his truck once they had stripped out of their waders and soaked clothes. He smiled, and let Jason kiss him again in thanks. When they arrived back at Arthur’s house, he gently told Jason that he had a lot of work to do for the calendar but agreed to get together again soon.

 

Jason was nice. Spending time with Jason was nice. Running into Eames while spending time with Jason, was not nice.

 

They were walking back to the office one afternoon, having grabbed what passed as coffee on Arthur’s lunch break, when Arthur noticed Eames staring at them from across the street. Arthur’s smile, which had been aimed at Jason, faded when he saw the furious look on Eames’ face. Jason turned to see what had caught Arthur’s eye, just as Eames climbed into his truck and slammed the door.

 

“Okay, that was odd, even for him.” Arthur said, feeling uncomfortable.

 

“Yeah, well, he’s a piece of work. You know, we used to be really close friends? Then when his business started to take off, he had a chance to get me a contracting job I really wanted, but instead, he made sure they didn’t hire me.”

 

Arthur frowned as Eames backed into the road. “Why?”

 

“Because Eames is all about Eames. Always has been and always will be. You know he dumped his fiancee the morning of their wedding?” Jason said.

 

“Are you serious?” Arthur watched Eames’ truck disappear into the distance.

 

“No one really knows what happened, but it was so bad the guy left town right after.”

 

“Wow, I guess he’s better off.” Arthur said, thoughts of Robert and Lillah flashing in his mind.

  
“The point is, life’s too short, right? I didn’t let Eames screw up my happiness, and neither should you.” Jason threw his arm around Arthur’s shoulders, leading him down the street.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tumble the tumblr at [teacuphuman09](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/teacuphuman09). Feel free to drop me some prompts.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur busts out the charm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone for reading along, and for all the lovely comments!

Two weeks later, Arthur set his sights on Yusuf. Ari had mentioned that he would be at one of the local bars that night, and Arthur had yet to get his commitment to pose for the calendar. His step only faltered for a second when he noticed Eames cheering beside Yusuf at the table. 

 

He plastered on a smile. “Yusuf! Just the man I was looking for.”

 

“Hey, Arthur, how are you?” Yusuf glanced back at the flatscreen mounted on the wall.

 

“Good, hey, can we talk for a second?”

 

“What do you know about the Grizzlies?” Eames asked abruptly.

 

“I really had no idea there was such a bear problem up here.” Arthur told him flatly.

 

“I meant the team.” Eames motioned to the tv with the neck of his beer.

 

“Oh, football, I knew that.” Arthur rearranged the condiment bottles.

 

“Basketball.” Eames corrected.

 

“Right.”

 

“Leave him alone,” Yusuf chided. “All the UM teams are the Grizzlies.” He explained.

 

“Of course they are.” Arthur said.

 

“Do you want a drink?” Yusuf asked.

 

Arthur nodded. “Please.” 

 

“It’s on my tab.” Eames called to Yusuf.

 

Arthur picked at the paper coaster. “Thank you. Now leave.”

 

Eames sputtered, beer dribbling down his chin.

 

“That’s a good look for you, you should keep it.” Arthur watched Eames wipe his face with his sleeve.

 

“That’s not very neighbourly of you,” Eames remarked. “Why do you want to be alone with Yusuf? Are you two on a date?” Eames wiggled his eyebrows, laughing.

 

“What are you, twelve? You know what, you should stay. When I tell Yusuf about your, how should I put this? Your  _ shortcomings _ , I bet he won’t think twice about posing.”

 

Eames chuckled darkly, taking another swig of beer. “Oh, really?”

 

“Really. I saw it all with my pretty brown eyes.” Arthur dimpled at him.

 

“You should really ask Yusuf about posing when he’s in his office. That way you can get your eyes checked, because you obviously have an issue with your depth perception.”

 

Arthur’s reply was interrupted by Yusuf sloshing a glass of beer in front of him.

 

“Wha’d I miss?” He asked.

 

“Nothing.” Arthur and Eames chimed, frowning at each other.

 

“Absolutely nothing,” Eames shook his head, glancing over Arthur’s shoulder. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I see some fine young things I’ve yet to corrupt.”

 

Arthur followed Eames’ movement across the bar to a group of college students doing shots.

 

“Is he always so charming?” 

 

“You do seem to bring out the best in him. Or the beast, I haven’t decided which.” Yusuf smiled into his glass.

 

“Nevermind,” Arthur told him, switching gears. “Yusuf, if you pose this calendar becomes a reality and the station will get everything it needs.”

 

He paused to take a drink, grimacing and spitting it back into the glass. “What is this?”

 

“Um, a Powderhound?” Yusuf eyed him with caution. “No?”

 

“Yeah, no.” Arthur carried the glass to the bar. “Can I just get a scotch, please? Thanks.”

 

Arthur caught Eames smirking at him from across the bar as he sat back down at the table.

 

“Look, I know why this thing is important, Arthur, and this isn’t about siding with Eames. I just hate getting my picture taken.”

 

“But you’re adorable!” Arthur protested.

 

“Arthur, no self-respecting man wants to be adorable.” Yusuf told him seriously.

 

“Pfft, I do. I’m adorable as fuck, people tell me all the time.” Arthur nodded his thanks to the waitress as she dropped off his drink.

 

“Then you pose.” Yusuf laughed.

 

“Sadly, I am not a member of the Search and Rescue Squad.” 

 

“You could be, you already have the t-shirt and everything!” 

 

“Alas, that shirt was lost to a terrible shoe polish incident.” He frowned mockingly. “It has to be you.”

 

“My parents are very religious, if they ever found out-”

 

“Yusuf. When they write your obituary, what do you want them to say? That you did this charitable thing for the community you love, or that you chickened out and let your own vanity get in the way of saving lives?”

 

“You’re a rat bastard, Arthur.” Yusuf told him.

 

“Not everyone gets to be the hero, my friend.”

 

Yusuf groaned, dropping his head into his hands. “Alright, alright, I’ll do it.”

 

“Excellent, you’ve made the right choice. Cheers.” Arthur tapped his glass to Yusuf’s.

 

“What are we celebrating?” Eames asked, his own glass colliding with Arthur’s with a little too much force.

 

“The reality of this calendar. I now have my twelve men.” Arthur’s smile was smug as he downed his drink.

 

Eames’ grin hollowed. “Well, you don’t have me yet.”

 

“Ever heard of a baker’s dozen?” Arthur asked, setting his empty glass on the table. “You’re the one I threw away. Thanks for the drink.” 

 

He felt Eames’ gaze on his back until he exited the bar. If he felt a troubling twinge as he walked to his car, it was surely only the cold.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ariadne gets nosy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So my plan to have this finished by Wednesday isn't going to happen. I'm moving this week but I will do my best to find some time and energy to work on it. We're about 3/4 of the way to the end, and I promise sexy times are coming!

“I know I’m asking a huge favour, Max, but I did introduce you to your wife. And I was the MC at your wedding, so you can do this for me.” Arthur was on the phone with one of the best photographers on the East coast, trying to convince him to trudge his way to Montana. To shoot a nude calendar. For charity.

 

“Plus, I never said a word to Karen about the stripper at your bachelor party.” Arthur smiled into the phone when Ariadne spun around in her chair. “I knew you’d be on board! It needs to be perfect, and you’re never anything but, Max. I’ll be in touch with the details.”

 

“The printer’s on hold, and you are so telling me what happened with the stripper.” Ari said.

 

Arthur laughed and picked up the phone. They’d been rushing to set everything up for the shoots since Yusuf had signed on as the twelfth man. The weather was perfect, and Arthur wanted the calendars ready for sale by Mother’s Day.

 

He finished up with the printer, marking down the quoted price, and scrubbed his hands over his face. He was tired, but nothing felt quite as good as being busy and watching a plan come together, and having Eames opposed to the idea had turned out to be a blessing in disguise. 

 

The man was being such a pain in the ass that the other members of the squad were more committed to participating, just to piss him off. He continued to leave notes on Arthur’s car during the day. This morning’s note read:  _ I am  _ **_asstounded_ ** _ that you haven’t been fined for the tightness of those trousers. _ Ari called them his little passive-aggressive epistles. Arthur called them shameful.

 

The men of the Kalispell Search and Rescue squad were a flurry of activity themselves. Arthur noticed a lot more jogging going on around town, and fielded calls daily about spray tans and body waxing. He did his best to reassure them that going au naturel was their best bet, even thought they were listening to him until Yusuf walked in with a tale of one of the men showing up at the ER with bleach burns.

 

“Was it Dave? I bet it was Dave.” Ari said.

 

“Sorry, doctor-patient confidentiality.” Yusuf grinned.

 

“This mystery man will still be okay for the shoot, right?” Arthur asked.

 

“Oh, yeah, he wasn’t exactly bleaching an area you’d see unless you were really looking for it.” Yusuf assured him.

 

“What the hell kind of calendar do they think we’re shooting?” He demanded.

 

“Hey, not everyone is as gifted with natural beauty as I am.” Yusuf said, draping himself across Ari’s desk. 

 

Ari yelped and rescued her tea. “You know, it’s a shame Eames won’t pose. I bet he could sell a few calendar with all those tattoos. Some people really go for that.” 

 

Arthur ignored her.

 

“He has a decent body, too, if I remember correctly. You’ve seen it recently, Arthur, what do you think?” She baited.

 

“I think we have more important things to do than discuss Eames’ centerfold potential.”

 

“But you think he could be a centerfold?” Yusuf asked.

 

Arthur frowned at them. “Ari, weren’t you saying just this morning that you were dying to see what Yusuf’s chest hair looks like?”

 

Ariadne narrowed her eyes, her face going red.

 

“Who me?” Yusuf asked.

 

“Yes, you. You should make her dinner tonight so you can show her.” Arthur smiled brightly.

 

“Oh, well, I guess I can do that.” Yusuf scratched his cheek.

 

“Well, don’t sound too enthusiastic about it, you’ll put me off.” Ariadne said dryly.

 

“No, I didn’t mean-I just. Arthur, would you like to join us?” Yusuf glanced at him hopefully.

 

“Sorry, I have plans, but you two kids have fun.”

 

“Arthur has plans with Jason.” Ari blurted.

 

“Oh, Jason? Why?” Yusuf asked, scrunching up his face.

 

“That’s none of your business.” Arthur told him primly.

 

“Neither was us having dinner, but you opened up that can of worms anyway. Yusuf, tell Arthur why he shouldn’t go out with Jason.” Ariadne said.

 

Arthur rolled his eyes. Ari had been warning him off the other man for weeks, claiming Arthur would be smarter if he dated a sign post. 

 

“Well, you know how Jason is,” Yusuf started. “Oh, no, I guess you don’t. He’s, he’s -”

 

“He’s a man whore.” Ari said.

 

“That’s a little harsh.” Yusuf frowned.

 

“But true.” Ari crossed her arms.

 

“Well, yes.” Yusuf nodded.

 

“Who says I’m not looking for a man whore?” Arthur raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know what I like, maybe I like that.”

 

“No you don’t. You think you’re some big mystery, Arthur Baxter, but you’re as easy to read as a tourist brochure. You want someone who’s fun, but reliable. Someone loyal who makes you laugh, and can talk you down when your head gets to spinning in all directions at once.” Ari said.

 

Arthur stared at her, speechless. That was exactly what he wanted, but he’d be damned if he’d admit that now.

 

“Arthur, I just don’t want to see you get hurt.” Ari said, concern showing in her eyes.

 

“Ari, I appreciate that you think you’re looking out for me, but I just got out of a long term relationship, and I’m a big boy. I’m not looking for my future husband, I’m just looking to spend time with someone fun, who isn’t going to be a lot of work. I’m allowed to do that.” 

 

Ari nodded, slumping back in her chair. “All right, fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

 

“I’m heading home, you two have fun tonight.” Arthur stood and gathered his things.

 

“You too,” Yusuf said as Arthur opened the door. 

 

“Don’t forget to wrap it up!” Ari yelled before the door could close.

 

Arthur smiled tightly to Pastor Hinkle when the man stopped to stare.

 

The truth was, Arthur knew what kind of guy Jason was. He wasn’t some innocent kid, new to the game, he’d done his time playing the field before Robert had come into the picture. But Arthur was tired of assessing the worth of every man he went out with. Jason was fun and easy, and that’s what he wanted right now. He knew he wouldn’t be staying in Kalispell much longer, so why get attached? Jason was a nice distraction from the reality of his ruined life.

 

And yet, Arthur was still holding off Jason’s advances. It wasn’t easy, as the man was about as subtle as brick, but Arthur did a lot of innocent smiling and blinking, and that seemed to do the trick. They’d made out a few times in Jason’s truck, but Arthur always pulled away when things started to get heated. Jason was handsy and Arthur feared for the crispness of his suits. 

  
Arthur didn’t claim to be a romantic, but he’d never felt the need to get off with someone just because he could. There had to be a spark, and as hot and willing as Jason was, there was still something lacking. That didn’t stop Arthur from agreeing to see him, however. There were only so many things to do in Kalispell, after all.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur makes a connection.
> 
>  
> 
> Nothing major in this chapter, sorry. I've been sidetracked with moving and illness and this is all I've gotten done. There will be more soon!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Sailing, takes me away where I always heard it could be,  
> Just a dream and the wind to carry me,  
> And soon I will be free.
> 
> Sailinggggg!"
> 
> (Is my age showing?)  
> (Okay, Christopher Cross is a little before my time, but my sister was obsessed.)

The following week, Arthur found himself searching through the town’s only boutique clothing store for something suitable to wear sailing. He frowned at himself in the mirror, not happy with how the stripped sweater bunched on his shoulders.

 

“Excuse me,” he flagged down another customer. “What do you think?”

 

The woman scanned him from head to toe. “Well, it’s a look.”

 

“Ugh, right? I’m going sailing and there’s no Barney’s in this town. Or any town that I can find.” Arthur complained.

 

“Oh, thank God, a breath of fresh cynicism! You can’t be from around here.”

 

“I’m a New Yorker, actually. I’m only here temporarily.” He assured her.

 

The woman eyed him closely. “You’re not Arthur Baxter, are you?”

 

“I am,” Arthur said, cautiously. “And you are?”

 

“Sonia Kendal.” The woman offered her hand.

 

“Sonia Kendal. Gravitational Navigation GPS Systems, Sonia Kendal?” Arthur’s jaw dropped a little. GNGPS Systems was one of the most lucrative up and coming companies in the country. They were on Arthur’s client wish list, or, they had been, when he still had a job.

 

“Would you join me for coffee, Arthur?”

 

######

 

“I bought out my ex-husband as part of our divorce settlement, and since then we’ve been up 15% per quarter.” Sonia smiled.

 

“That’s impressive.” Arthur said, silently cursing Lillah for the thousandth time.

 

“When I got your press package, I was impressed. Thought I’d come out here myself and see if it was all too good to be true.”

 

“Trust me when I tell you, as a city boy, this is the perfect place to come to recharge your batteries. The beauty here is like nothing you’d find in Chicago or New York, and it’s the perfect place for your corporate retreat.” Arthur glanced around the main street, startled to find that he meant every word.

  
  


“Well, I have always wanted to learn how to fish, if you can believe it.” Sonia laughed.

 

“Well, then I have the perfect instructor for you! His name is Jason, and if he can convince me to willingly wade into a rushing river with a worm on a hook, he can teach anyone.” 

 

######

 

“So, is this sailing do on a yacht?” Mal asked, a smile in her voice.

 

“I’ll be lucky if it’s not on a blow up raft.” Arthur told her, piling pillows onto his bed.

 

Mal laughed as Arthur’s phoned beeped with an incoming call.

 

“I’ll call you back, Mal, I’d better take this. Love you.” 

 

Arthur picked up the other line.

 

“Hey, it’s Jason.”

 

“Hello, you.” Arthur said.

 

“I am so sorry, but I’m not going to make it today. I’m stuck in bed with the worst allergic reaction, or food poisoning, or something. It’s just awful.”

 

Arthur frowned. Jason didn’t sound sick. “Well, that’s okay, there will be other parties. I’m sorry you’re not feeling well, is there anything I can do?”

 

“Yes, you can go without me and have a great time.” Jason said.

 

Arthur smiled. “That’s sweet of you.”

 

“I want you to have fun. I’ll call you when I’m feeling better, okay?”

 

“Okay, get some rest.” Arthur hung up, straightening the line of his new navy cardigan. He wasn’t one to let a new outfit go to waste.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur once again finds himself out of his element, while Eames comes to the rescue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As is probably incredibly clear, I know nothing about going down, or up, a mountain. Please forgive any mistakes I've made.

By the time Arthur had hiked up the trail to the meeting place, he knew something was amiss. The others in the group, Dave, Bonnie, Ari, Yusuf, and, of course, Eames, turned to stare. Dave stifled his laugh in his cup while Yusuf shook his head.

 

“This isn’t a lake,” Arthur said, the feeling of foolishness sinking in as the others gawked at him in his navy and whites. “We’re not going sailing, are we?”

 

Ari’s eyebrows shot up. “No, we’re going abseiling.”

 

Arthur closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to force down his mortification. Nice of Jason not to make the details clear to him.

 

“You do know abseiling is going down a mountain on a rope?” Dave asked.

 

“Of course,” Arthur lied. “Doesn’t everybody?”

 

Eames laughed, popping an almond into his mouth.

 

“Where’s Jason?” Yusuf asked.

 

“He’s sorry to miss out, but he’s not feeling well.”

 

A lot of raised eyebrows and a few head shakes followed that, making Arthur frown. Ari gave him an encouraging smile from her seat on a rock and offered him a container of strawberries.

 

They finished their lunch amidst friendly chatter, and by the time Arthur had worked his sulky way through the fruit, the others were gearing up to throw themselves over the side of the mountain.

 

“Yusuf, wanna help me into this?” Ari held out her harness with a smile.

 

Yusuf sputtered, his face going red. “You should ask Bonnie, she’s better at it.” He lowered his head and fiddled with his ropes.

 

Arthur shook his head, grinning to himself. 

 

Bonnie helped Ari into the harness, then stepped to the edge. 

 

“Okay, who’s coming with me?”

 

“Me first!” Yusuf clamored over.

 

“Everyone remember the motto?” Eames asked, checking the lines.

 

“Safety first.” Bonnie said.

 

“Right, and the other motto?”

 

“Don’t die!” Yusuf yelled.

 

“Excellent!” Eames grinned.

 

“Get the lead out, Yusuf, let’s go!” Bonnie said, backing over the rock ledge.

 

“You’re wife’s bossy, Dave.” Yusuf complained, checking his clamps.

 

“You’re preaching to the choir, my friend.” Dave laughed.

 

Arthur cheered on their descent with the others, his earlier embarrassment forgotten in the company of fresh air and good people. He tried to remember the last time he’d spent a reasonable amount of time around others when it wasn’t for work. In New York he’d always been networking, trying to grow his client list. Every new acquaintance was a potential paycheck. A name in his rolodex. A number that never called him back the one time he really needed them to. 

 

He looked around at the others and wondered how many of them would pick up the phone if he called with a problem. It surprised him to realize he was fairly certain they all would. Even Eames. Despite their animosity, Eames was still companionable when they were in public. He still nodded when they passed in the street-as long as Arthur was alone-, and he still left little notes on Arthur’s car. Just yesterday he’s been greeted with the name and number for a client of Eames’ that was willing to let his house for the retreat program. Below the scrawled numbers was a reminder to have the air in his tires checked because the front driver’s side was looking a little low.

 

He glanced over at Eames, who was adjusting the harness around his thighs. Arthur took a moment to admire the way the man’s shorts hitched up before his name being called distracted him.

 

“Arthur, are you going to give it a try?” Ari asked.

 

“Ah, no. Only my drinks are on the rocks.” Arthur said.

 

“You’d be surprised how much fun it is.” Ari jangled a harness at him.

 

“I can fully admit that dangling over a cliff is way out of my comfort zone.”

 

“Weren’t you the one who wanted us all to take a leap of faith?” Eames asked, smiling sharply. 

 

So much for behaving in public, Arthur thought.

 

“I thought stepping off the edge was exactly your kind of thing.” Eames taunted.

 

“Eames, lay off,” Ari warned. “Arthur, don’t let him goad you into it, you can always hike back down.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s a hiking trail, not an elevator. Wouldn’t want to get your shiny new shoes dirty.” Eames said.

 

Arthur squared his shoulders and glared at Eames. “You know what? I’ve been dying to try this. Just dying. And you have an unhealthy obsession with my footwear, Mr. Eames.”

 

He marched over to Ari and let her maneuver him into the complicated harness. Once he was standing at the edge beside Eames, the man grew serious, pointing out details and giving instructions like this hadn’t all been a ploy to throw Arthur off his game.

 

“All right, nothing can happen. You’re clipped into the rope, and that rope is anchored to that massive rock. It’s perfectly safe, so don’t worry.”

 

“Right,” Arthur peered over his shoulder at the plunging rockface. “Just out of curiosity, how far is it to the bottom?”

 

“Only about 90, 100 feet. Look, just stare at your feet, and feed the rope through, nice and slow.” Eames smiled, his voice verging on patronizing.

 

“I can do it. I got the safety lecture, I know how it works.” Arthur snapped.

 

“Right then,” Eames said tightly. “Just lean back gently into your harness.”

 

“This rope’s going to take my weight, right?” Arthur asked, fear mounting now that he was actually expected to hurl himself over the edge.

 

“Absolutely. That rope could take the weight of a bus and it wouldn’t break.” Eames assured him.

 

“I’m not a bus.” Arthur said flatly.

 

Eames stared at him for a moment. “No,” he said slowly. “No, you’re not a bus. You’re not even a moped.”

 

“No.” Arthur agreed, trying to stamp down his panic.

 

Eames eased him back with constant encouragement, Ari and Dave’s cheers ringing out from above his head. He was doing it. He was picking his way down the side of a motherfucking mountain. Arthur felt free. He felt brave, and victorious, and proud. The view was incredible. The difference between looking at a picture and seeing it yourself was breathtaking. He was halfway down and he was doing it all on his own. 

 

At least until his foot slipped. He skidded over an outcropping of rock, scraping his leg and blocking the others from view. Immediately, he started to panic. He’d landed on his side, and everytime he tried to roll himself to his feet, he only succeeded in scuttling from side to side, further tearing his flesh. He hissed in pain and felt blood soak through his pant leg. 

 

“Arthur!” Eames’ voice rang out from above. “I’m coming, just stay where you are!”

 

“Arthur, it’s going to be okay, stay calm!” Ari shouted.

 

Arthur squeezed his eyes shut, his face burning in shame. Why could he do nothing right in front of these people? Time and time again, he proved himself to be nothing more that a spoiled city boy who couldn’t even find his way around town. He cursed himself for coming without Jason, then he cursed Jason for ditching him. What was he doing here when it was so clear to everyone that he didn’t belong?

 

Arthur clung to his rope, heart pounding and gasping for breath. A warm hand slid down his back, making him shiver.

 

“Are you okay?” Eames asked, bumping into him. “Are you faint or dizzy?”

 

Arthur shook his head, pursing his lips as Eames rubbed his back.

 

“Can you move?”

 

Arthur shook his head again.

 

“Yes, you can, you can move.” The smile in Eames’ voice was evident, and when Arthur opened his eyes, he was surprised to find fondness in the man’s eyes instead of scorn.

 

“You’re going to let the rope out nice and easy, and everything will right itself, I promise.”

 

“What if I fall?” Arthur whispered.

 

“You can’t fall, I promise. Come on, darling, you can do this. I’m going to be right here with you.”

 

Arthur looked down at the craggy ground and whimpered, his face flaming.

 

“You’ve come more than half way on your own, Arthur. You did that. I may have nagged you into the harness, but you took the steps. Now, I have it on good authority that there isn’t anything Arthur Baxter can’t do, so I know you can finish this.” Eames squeezed the back of his neck, massaging away the tension.

 

“Who told you that?” Arthur asked, relaxing despite his fear.

 

“You did, and you’re never wrong, right?” Eames grinned, his eyes crinkling. “Besides,” he continued, leaning closer and lowering his voice. “There’s no other way to get off this rock.”

 

Arthur sniffed, nodding firmly. “Right, okay. I can do this.”

 

He let the rope out a few inches, wincing when it jostled his leg, but he didn’t stop.

 

“There’s a love.” Eames said, keeping pace with him.

 

Ten minutes later Arthur lowered himself to the ground with a groan. His leg was aching and his entire pant leg was covered in blood.

 

“Jesus, Arthur! Why didn’t you say something?” Eames hurried to unhook the ropes.

 

“The only way out was down, right?” Arthur laid back and let Eames slice through what was left of his new trousers with his knife.

 

“Yes, but I would have hurried you a little if I’d known you were injured.” 

 

“It’s okay, d’you know why?” Arthur threw his arm over his eyes.

 

“Please enlighten me.” Eames snapped, using the shredded pieces of cloth as a tourniquet.

 

“Because I’m out here with half of the Kalispell Search and Rescue Squad!” Arthur giggled.

 

Eames stared at him in confusion. “You’re insane.”

 

“Maybe,” Arthur shrugged, unable to stop laughing.

 

Eames unclipped the radio from his belt, snapping out orders to the others. He bent over Arthur, checking his pupils, and rubbing his thumb over his dimples. Arthur’s laughter died in his throat, startled silent by the worry in Eames’ face.

 

“Don’t you ever do something like that again, do you hear me?” Eames whispered, voice harsh and urgent.

 

Arthur nodded slowly, reaching up to grasp at Eames’ wrist. Eames pressed a kiss to his forehead, drawing back quickly when Yusuf and Bonnie came running around the corner.

 

Arthur lost track of Eames in the flurry of movement that followed. They loaded him into Yusuf’s truck and rushed him to the hospital where the good doctor stitched him up and grumbled about a little cut ruining a perfectly good afternoon. When Ari arrived she scolded him, claiming that seventeen stitches wasn’t a little cut. Arthur let them bicker while he tried to parcel out what parts of Eames’ actions were adrenaline, and which were sincere.

  
The man was a walking storm of frustration and mixed messages. He taunted Arthur, was downright mean at one turn, then kind and open the next. What game was he playing? By the time the freezing wore off and the painkillers kicked in, Arthur had decided to stop wasting his time trying to figure the man out. If Eames wanted something from Arthur, he’d have to be man enough to ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are always welcome!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eames tries to come clean and Arthur plays dirty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Moving, and sick kids, and vacation all got in the way.

Arthur was greeted the next morning by a beautiful arrangement of flowers on his desk. Scrawled across the card was another apology from Jason for cancelling on him the day before. Flowers weren’t really Arthur’s style, but he could appreciate the sentiment and had to admit it was a sweet gesture. He was firing off a thank you text when Ari announced he had a visitor. It seemed Eames was waiting for him in the conference room.

 

Arthur slid the door shut behind him, taking note of the file in Eames’ hand and the tentative smile on his face.

 

“Morning, Arthur. Sorry I didn’t call first.”

 

Arthur crossed his arms. “What can I do for you, Mr. Eames?”

 

“I like your shirt,” he waved the folder in Arthur’s direction. “We match.”

 

Arthur glanced at the fine pink pinstripe of his oxford, then to the offensive salmon of the monstrosity that clothed Eames. “I assure you, we do not.”

 

“Right, okay.”

 

“How can the tourist bureau help you today?” Arthur asked drily.

 

Eames frowned, pushing his chair back to stand. “How do you stand it in here? It’s so stuffy.”

 

Arthur sat, fold his hands on the table and crossing his legs, curious as what had Eames so frazzled. “Sadly the weather is beyond my control. Shall I open a window?”

 

“No, no, it’s fine.” Eames bit his lip, fanning himself with the folder.

 

“Mr. Eames, despite your opposition, I am, in fact, quite busy these days with the creation of the calendar. So I would appreciate if you could get to the point of your visit.”

 

“Yes, right! The calendar! That’s what I want to talk to you about.” Eames hurried forward to sit beside Arthur.

 

“I have no patience left for listening to your arguments. You’ve made it quite clear that you-” Arthur started, building himself into a fury.

 

“I want to sponsor it!” Eames shouted.

 

“You want to what?” 

 

“Sponsor it.” Eames repeated, carefully, sliding the file over.

 

Arthur flipped it open, his eyes quickly taking in the proposal in front of him. “And why would you do that after repeatedly trying to stop it from happening?”

 

“While I admit to my misgivings, if the project is going to happen anyway, I want to help out in any way I can. If my company can cover the costs of production, the profits will be that much higher.”

 

“This is a very generous offer, but I’m a little confused. You’re saying that you’re doing this for purely altruistic reasons, with no thought whatsoever as to how this will benefit your career?” Arthur threw the man’s own words back at him.

 

Eames huffed and looked away. “Look, sometimes people get hurt. And, and you don’t want them to, but they do. And that’s bad.”

 

“Eames, what the hell are you trying to say?’ Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose.

 

“I have feelings for you.” Eames blurted.

 

Arthur blinked rapidly as the other man leaned into his space.

 

“I have feelings for you, and it’s  _ awful _ . You’re bossy, and rude, and, and  _ way _ too opinionated. And you are the most arrogant person I’ve ever met, truly! I had hope that this, this affection I feel for you would pass, but the heart wants what it wants, right?” Eames threw his hands in the air.

 

Arthur opened his mouth to speak, only to find he had no words. Eames had actually knocked him speechless. He took a moment to compose himself, waiting for the urge to punch Eames to pass before he did anything.

 

“Let me make sure I understand this correctly, you came here today to confess that you have feelings for me. Feelings that you want no part of, and have gone out of your way to dismiss. That my personality and my being are so repulsive to you that you’ve devoted months to antagonizing me and belittling me to the people of this town with the hope that it would drive me away.”

 

“Yes!” 

 

Arthur stood, adjusting his tie and shooting his cuffs. “Mr. Eames, in the past when I have been confronted by someone with an interest in me, which I did not share, I did whatever I could to ease the pain of the situation, so as not to completely destroy the connection. But that was then.”

 

“No, Arthur, look. Would you rather I’d lied? Pretended I was thrilled by this and gone ahead and destroyed-”

 

“Did you even imagine for a second that I wouldn’t share your feelings? Did it occur to you at all that you’re not the man you think you are, and that I would be disgusted by the very thought of being with you? Your actions toward me since I arrived have been nothing short of hostile and I wouldn’t be interested in you if you were the last man on earth.” Arthur turned for the door.

 

Eames grabbed his arm, spinning him back around. “Now just wait a minute.”

 

“I don’t know why I expected anything less from you. Do you get off on ruining people’s lives?”

 

Eames looked startled. “What are you talking about?”

 

“Jason? Your fiance? How you haven’t run Ariadne and Yusuf out of your life yet is beyond my comprehension.”

 

“Jason,” Eames shook his head. “Just how well do you know Jason, Arthur?”

 

“Well enough.” Arthur smirked.

 

Eames face grew serious. “Yeah, I bet. You probably won’t listen to anything I have to say on the matter, but let me warn you to be careful where Jason is concerned.”

 

“You’re right, I won’t listen.”

 

Eames’ nostrils flared and he stomped away, throwing the door open and rustling the papers on Arthur’s desk.

 

“And as to your other offer, we already have a very generous sponsor backing us!” Arthur called as the front door slammed shut.

 

Ari spun around in her chair, eyes wide. “Arthur?”

 

“What?” He snapped, rubbing his brow.

 

“What other sponsor?”

  
Arthur grit his teeth. “I will find one.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur works best under pressure.

 

“I understand completely, Sonia. Thank you so much for your time. I’ll be in touch.” Arthur hung up the phone, carefully keeping his face blank.

 

“So?” Ariadne asked, bouncing in her chair.

 

“Hmm?” He straightened the papers on his desk, not looking up until the rubber band ball Ari kept in her drawer bounced off his forehead.

 

“Don’t be a dick, Arthur, what did she say?”

 

“Who, Sonia? Oh. She said her company would be more than happy to sponsor our little calendar, especially since it’s for such a good cause. Philanthropy looks great in the papers.” Arthur sat back, brushing lint from his trouser leg.

 

Ariadne squealed and Arthur let a smile slip through as he watched her spin her chair in circles.

 

“You are going to be insufferably smug the next time you see Eames, aren’t you?

 

“Yes, indeed I am.” Arthur grinned. 

 

The office door opened, bright sunshine forcing Arthur to shield his eyes.

 

“Mike,” he greeted the man shuffling into the room. “Are you ready for tomorrow?”

 

“Arthur, I have thought about this, and tried to talk myself into it, but I just can’t do it, I’m sorry.” Mike let out in a rush, his face flushing darkly.

 

“Whoa, whoa, calm down now, here, sit down before you pass out.” Arthur pushed a chair toward him and motion for Ari to get some water.

 

“I was so sure I could do this, I swear. I exercised, cut out carbs, I even,” Mike gave a furtive look around. “ _ Waxed _ , but I just can’t. Even thinking about taking off my clothes in front of a camera makes me-” Mike gagged, reaching for the garbage bin and Arthur scrambled backward to save his shoes.

 

“Mike, I say this with the utmost respect and sympathy, but your issues with disrobing clearly go deeper than his calendar, and you should probably talk to someone about them.” He pressed his hand over his mouth and nose as the smell of vomit reached him.

 

“I’m so sorry!” Mike wailed in between retches. “I’ll go door to door to sell them, I know the calendar is a good idea, but I just can’t-” He heaved again.

 

“Yeah, you’re not going anywhere near my calendar tomorrow.” Arthur told him, stretching to pat him on the shoulder.

 

Mike groaned into the bin while Ari opened the windows. He was a man down with only one possible substitute, but Arthur was damned if he was going to beg Eames to pose. He helped Mike to his car, assuring the man he wouldn’t be needed the next day.

 

He walked back into the office, an idea forming. “Ari, the rescue squad are all volunteers, right?”

 

“Yeah.” She answered, spraying air freshener around her desk.

 

“You’re a volunteer. So is Bonnie.”

 

“Yes, but we’re in the office. We don’t go out on rescues. Wait, you don’t expect one of us to pose, do you? Because I love you, but I’m not doing that.” Ari backed away.

 

“No, no that’s not-wait, what? You love me?” Arthur froze.

 

“Sure, Arthur, you’re one of us now. We all love you.” Ari shrugged.

 

Arthur didn’t know how to respond to that information so he waved it off and went back to his plan.

 

“I didn’t mean you. What if I volunteer? Then I’m part of the squad and it’s not out of the question that I pose.”

 

Ari’s eyes grew comically large. “You would do that?” 

 

“This calendar is important, Ari. If I don’t do it we’re dead in the water.”

 

“Or you could ask Eames to pose.”

 

“No. Even if he hadn’t already shown his scorn for the idea, my pride wouldn’t survive having to ask him.” Arthur tugged at his jacket.

 

“But I thought the calendar was important.” Ari said gently.

 

“It is, and a few days ago I would have asked him, pride be damned, but not now. Not when we have another option.”

 

“I just can’t believe you’re going to take your clothes off in front of a camera.” Ari giggled.

 

Arthur smirked. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

 

“What? Buttoned up, straight-laced Arthur Baxter has posed nude?” She gaped.

 

“You really don’t have to sound so shocked, you know. I have a lot going on under these suits.” Arthur grumbled.

 

“Oh, I don’t doubt it, I just thought of you as kind of a prude.” Ari patted his arm.

 

“What kind of a prude organizes a nude calendar for a local charity?” Arthur wrinkled his nose.

 

“The kind just aching to burst out of his conservative social constraints.” Ari sighed.

 

“You read too many romance novels, and I’m going to kick Yusuf’s ass if he doesn’t make a move and save you from yourself.”

 

“God, would you please? There’s only so much I can do alone and I think I’m getting carpal tunnel.” She groused.

 

Arthur barked out a laugh, shaking his head. “You know, Ari, I think I kind of love you, too. Now, how do I become a volunteer for the rescue squad?”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Live! Nude! Men! (Whether you want them to be, or not.)

And that’s how Arthur found himself shucking out of his clothes late the next afternoon, ready to be Mr. December. 

 

The day had gone well. It was amazing how liberating tequila shots could be, and Marie, a photographer friend from New York who had donated her time and flown in for the shoot, was quick to put the men at ease. Her easy demeanor and no nonsense work ethic had put them ahead of schedule.

 

They’d had to pause briefly to compose themselves when Les, who had been using a straight razor and a tin camping cup to “shave”, had tried to use the miniscule towel wrapped around his waist to wipe off the remaining foam. He had practically rolled himself into a ball to clean his face instead of just taking the damn thing off or asking to use the spare cloth Arthur was holding. Tequila was magical, indeed.

 

The only real hitch had been Dave, who had been set up a little way up the mountain in a patch of remaining snow. His complaint of it being cold wasn’t overcome by Arthur reminder that nothing big, or small, would be revealed in the actual calendar. In the end they had called Bonnie and had her talk Dave into a receptive mood while Arthur and the crew very carefully stared at their feet and fought back laughter.

 

Arthur’s favourite shoot had been Yusuf, who insisted on disrobing in the tent they’d set up in a field as a background prop. The hilarity of his realization that he’d have to practically crawl out naked was matched only by his blushing when Ari appeared and gave him a standing ovation. The last he’d seen of them was when he shouted that they probably wanted to zip the tent shut after they tumbled into it. Arthur checked that relationship off his mental to do list.

 

When they’d met Jason at the river for his turn, Arthur had kept it professional, smiling politely at the man’s easy flirting. They’d had a good run, but Arthur wasn’t about to look past Jason’s abrupt disappearance from his life when all that had been offered was a handful of texted excuses.

 

Arthur was carefully folding his trousers when Eames stepped out of the treeline in his underwear. He had a bottle of champagne in one hand and the reins of a horse in the other.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” Arthur choked out, unable to tear his eyes from the ink curling over Eames’ shoulder.

 

Eames frowned. “I think that’s my line, darling.”

 

“I’m here to pose for the calendar. Something you’re apparently too good for.”

 

Eames snorted. “Clearly I’m not, since here I am.” 

 

“You’re here to pose? With a horse?” Arthur put his hands on his hips.

 

“No, I often wander the hillside in my pants, with a bottle of bubbly and Rosemary, here.”

 

“It honestly wouldn’t surprise me at this point.” Arthur told him seriously.

 

“Charming as ever, dear Arthur.” Eames clenched his jaw.

 

“Look, no one asked you to pose and we don’t need you.”

 

“Ari asked me.”

 

“Excuse me, she what?” Arthur snapped, his anger rising.

 

“She asked me. Said you were too proud to, but that you really needed me. So here I am.” Eames stepped closer, the horse following him.

 

“Well, she was mistaken. I’m perfectly capable of getting the job done.” Arthur added his pants to his pile of clothing and brushed his hair out of his eyes. He’d taken Ari’s advice and left it loose.

 

“Arthur,” Eames said quietly. “I’m not questioning your loyalty to the squad. I heard what you did. Going to the trouble to be sworn in as a volunteer just so you could pose and not have your participation questioned. That speaks volumes to your character and I want you to know how much I appreciate it.”

 

“I didn’t do it for you.” 

 

“I know that,” Eames took his arm, slowly turning Arthur to face him. “I do. Look, I’m sorry that nothing I said the other day came out right, but you don’t have to do this. You’ve done more than enough behind the camera. Let us carry the task in front of it.”

 

“You think I can’t do this?” Arthur asked, his skin warm where Eames was holding him.

 

Eames’ eyes travelled down, then back up Arthur’s frame. He licked his lips and grinned. “Oh, pet, I absolutely know you can, and if you do, every month will be Christmas at my house, I promise. But this is my job, not yours.”

 

Arthur flushed, pulling his arm away. “What’s with the horse?”

 

“I have been reliably informed that men with horses are considered incredibly attractive.” Eames patted the horse’s flank.

 

“I think you misheard, it’s a man with a horse sized-”

 

“Are we ready boys?” Marie called.

 

Eames laughter rang through the trees, startling a few birds from their perches.

 

Arthur eyed him with a smile. “Are you sure about this?”

 

“Absolutely,” Eames said, his eyes soft. 

 

“I trust you not to let me down again, Mr. Eames.”

 

“I will spend the rest of my days striving to meet your expectations, Arthur.” 

 

Arthur took a deep breath, unsettled by the seriousness of their hushed tones and unwilling to make the wrong move.

 

“Then I guess I’ll put my clothes back on.”

 

“Don’t do it on my account, darling, I’m quite enjoying the view.” Eames winked, leading the horse to the mark.

 

Arthur dressed quickly, no desire to further embarrass himself in front of the crew.

 

In the end, Eames needed very little direction. He was a natural in front of the camera, playful and sexy in turn. He and Rosemary preened for Marie, the horse nudging Eames gently when he turned from her. Arthur was entranced. He’d seen a lot of different sides to Eames, but this honest and open affection was new, and to his dismay he was a little jealous of the horse. He found himself longing to be the one arching into Eames’ firm petting, having his hair smoothed by the man’s large hands, feeling Eames’ nose trail along his face. 

 

Arthur nearly fell over when Eames took hold of Rosemary’s mane and hauled himself onto her back. His eyes followed the strong line of Eames’ thigh to the thatch of dark blond curls nestled around the man’s soft cock. Arthur stumbled into a tree, suddenly much closer than he had been a minute ago. He looked at the nearly empty bottle in his hand. Eames had handed it to him after the first dozen shots and Arthur had taken a swig to calm his nerves. It appeared he’d kept drinking, but the alcohol was doing nothing to dissuade his own cock, which was half hard and finding inspiration in the heated looks Eames kept sending him.

  
As soon as the shoot was over, Arthur stumbled to his car, one of the crew members in tow. He shoved the kid into the driver’s seat and told him to drive before Eames could get his clothes back on and break down any more of Arthur’s carefully constructed walls. If anything was going to happen between the two of them it wasn’t going to be when Arthur was drunk and Eames didn’t have to put any work into it. He’d treated Arthur poorly and Arthur wasn’t one to easily forgive and forget.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Eames come to a head. Ahem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Chapters! In one Night! Hopefully this one doesn't seem rushed.

Arthur went home and Eames didn’t call. Arthur sobered up and took a cold shower and didn’t miss Eames’ call. Arthur went to bed and woke up the next morning, and still, Eames didn’t call. He drove to work, arguing with Mal on speaker phone about Arthur’s tendency to send the wrong message and shut people out, unable to take pride in finding his way to the office for the first time without getting lost because Eames hadn’t called. 

 

Dread settled in Arthur’s belly and he knew he only had himself to blame. He was too difficult, too rude, too cold. Eames had practically sneered his disdain for his interest in Arthur, and yet somehow Arthur had fooled himself into believing there might be a chance. That Eames might fight for him. Might look past the brittle exterior and see that beneath it all, Arthur longed for a connection. One he thought he may have found here, in Kalispell. 

 

He scrubbed his hands over his face and told himself it didn’t matter. In another few months, he’d be back in New York and he’d never have to think about this hole in the ground town again. 

 

“Morning, Arthur!” Ari greeted him, shooing Yusuf off her desk.

 

Arthur nodded, trying not to begrudge them their happiness.

 

“There’s coffee in the pot, and Marie dropped off the proofs before she left for the airport. She said to tell you that they’re untouched and she thinks they should mostly stay that way.”

 

“Great, thanks, Ari.” Arthur filled his mug and closed himself in the conference room. Half an hour later, he wasn’t even attempting to hide his smile as he poured over the pictures from the shoot. The men all looked relaxed and in their element. That confidence and humour added up to a lot of casual and natural sex appeal. Arthur had delivered on his promise and the calendar would be a huge seller, he just knew it.

 

“I certainly hope my pictures are the cause of all that dimpling.” Eames’ voice broke through Arthur’s self-congratulations.

 

He’d been so absorbed in his task he hadn’t heard Eames come in, or the door sliding shut behind him. 

 

“Mayor Bob, actually. Who knew he was a natural blond?” Arthur said, turning back to the pictures and willing his hands to stop shaking.

 

“Hard to tell with no hair on his head, I suppose.” 

 

“Hmm,” Arthur agreed. “Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Eames? I’m afraid the proofs aren’t fit for public viewing yet.”

 

“I’m not here for the pictures, Arthur.” Eames came closer, causing Arthur to take a hasty step back.

 

“Looking for Yusuf, then? I fear he and Ari will be inseparable for a while. He was just out there.”

 

“Dammit, Arthur, look at me.” Eames snapped.

 

“Why?” Arthur asked, meeting Eames’ eyes. “So you can tell me again how much you loathe your attraction for me? Or are you going to be nice this time? I know how much you love to throw me off my game. Whatever it is, could you get it over with, because I have a lot of work to do.”

 

“I apologized for that. I didn’t mean for it to come out that way. That’s not how I really feel.” Eames tried to reach for him, and Arthur took another step back.

 

“Are you sure about that? Because you seemed very passionate about your distaste for me.”

 

“When I said you were rude and bossy-”

 

“And arrogant.”

 

“And a lot of things, I meant them as compliments.” Eames shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

 

“Oh, I see, you telling me you don’t want to be attracted to me was a compliment! I can’t believe I didn’t see that.” Arthur steadied himself on the table. If Eames was going to stand there and insult him again, Arthur might hit him. There was only so much he could take.

 

“You never let me finish!” Eames threw his hands in the air. “Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a word in edgewise with you?”

 

“Yes, I do that on purpose. It cuts down on opposition.” Arthur admitted.

 

Eames laughed. “Of course you do, Christ. I just need you to stay silent for two minutes, can you do that for me?”

 

“That depends on what you’re going to say.”

 

“No, it doesn’t. Just shut up for two minutes so I can finish a bloody sentence.”

 

“I don’t think hmrf-” Arthur’s eyes widened as one of Eames’ hands clamped over his mouth. The other cupped the back of Arthur’s head, keeping him still.

 

“Please,” Eames said.

 

Arthur nodded, breathing nosily through his nose.

 

“Do I think you’re bossy, and stubborn, and all those other things? Yes. But, darling, that’s what I like about you. You challenge me, and no one’s done that in a very long time. You’re contrary, and ridiculously sexy, and I can barely keep my wits about me when I’m around you. I wasn’t opposed to being attracted to you, Arthur, I was worried about hurting you. I’m not good at this, which is probably painfully obvious by now, and I will most likely ruin it all before long, but if you’ll have me, I’d really love to take you home and peel you out of that ridiculous suit.”

 

Arthur grumbled into Eames’ hand until he removed it.

 

“What was that?” Eames asked.

 

“I said, that wasn’t two minutes and my suit is not ridiculous.” He grabbed a handful of Eames shirt to keep him close.

 

Eames grinned. “It’s beyond ridiculous. Have you seen your arse in those trousers? Criminal.”

 

“You’re an idiot.” Arthur told him.

 

“For you, darling, I’ll be anything,” Eames smiled against Arthur’s mouth. “Please tell me I can kiss you now.”

 

Arthur responded by swiping his tongue along Eames’ bottom lip, drawing a groan from the other man. Eames held Arthur in place while he kissed him thoroughly, not stopping until they were panting and Arthur had snaked his hands under Eames’ shirt.

 

“You should take an early lunch.” Eames said, kissing his way down Arthur’s neck.

 

“Screw lunch, I think I’m feverish.”

 

“Excellent, I have a novel way of taking your temperature.” Eames bit him as Arthur laughed.

 

“Seriously?”

 

“What?” Eames drew back, offended.

 

“That was terrible.” Arthur kissed him lightly.

 

“You won’t be saying that once you see my thermometer.”

 

“I’ve seen your thermometer, and, no, I can’t. This is too ridiculous. Let’s get out of here.” Arthur pushed Eames off him and adjusted himself.

 

“Those trousers are leaving nothing to the imagination, dear.” Eames remarked, leering at the bulge in Arthur’s pants.

 

“Shut up, I just need a minute.” Arthur shook himself, willing his erection away. 

 

“If you give me just a minute, I can take care of that for you.” Eames grinned, stalking forward.

 

“What? No! We can’t do that here! I work here!” Arthur drew back.

 

“So? Ari and Yusuf had sex on that table this morning.”

 

“How do you know that? You can’t know that.” Arthur frowned at the table he’d worked on all morning.

 

“Because Yusuf called to giggle about it while Ari opened the office.”

 

“That’s...disturbing.” 

 

“Don’t worry, we don’t need to use the table.” Eames dropped to his knees and deftly opened Arthur’s pants.

 

“Actually, I think that story was enough to-oh, fuck.” Arthur slid one hand into Eames’ hair and shoved his other fist in his mouth to stifle his cries.

 

Eames was very, very good at this, and in minutes Arthur was bent over him, trying not to thrust wildly as he came like a freight train. 

 

Eames wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stood. “Alright there, darling?”

 

“Hmm?” Arthur smiled, listing to the side while trying to gather the sheets of proofs.

 

Eames steadied him with a chuckle. “Let’s get you home before you fall over.”

 

“I thought you said you were bad at this stuff.” Arthur said as Eames tugged him toward the door.

 

“At relationships stuff, not sex stuff. I’m excellent at sex stuff.”

 

“I don’t know, I may need several more demonstrations before I can make a ruling on that.”

 

Eames laughed darkly and pressed Arthur against the door. “I don’t intend to let you out of bed until I have you completely confident in my skill set.”

 

“Ari,” Arthur called opening the door. “I’m not feeling well, I’m going to take the rest of the day off.”

 

“And tomorrow.” Eames breathed into his ear.

 

“And tomorrow.” 

 

Ari arched her eyebrow and laughed. “You do look flushed, Arthur. You should definitely stay in bed all weekend.”

 

“Oh, I think we can be a little more imaginative than that.” Eames said.

 

“Yeah, I hear Arthur’s really into alternative medicines.” Ari told him.

 

“Hey, stop it. It’s atrocious what passes as sexual innuendo in this town.” Arthur huffed.

 

“You won’t be complaining for long.” Eames promised, sliding up behind him.

  
Arthur swallowed thickly as Eames’ erection pressed against him. He didn’t bother to say goodbye to Ari and he tugged Eames out the door.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Domestic Bliss Ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My goal with this piece was for it to be less pornish than my other works. I failed. This chapter is pure porn. I'm sorry. (But not really.)

Arthur lay stretched out across the sofa, his feet in Eames’ lap as a cooking show played on tv. His eyes fluttered and his tendons relaxed as Eames firmly stroked Arthur’s arch. Even after a week of this, Arthur still found it hard to believe that Eames was here.

 

He let his eyes trail over the tattoos on Eames’ chest, rubbing his fingers across his mouth as he remembered the feel of the wiry blonde hair there. Arthur had repaid Eames’ office blowjob the minute they’d arrived back at his house. His knees still ached from how hard they’d hit the floor.

 

Sitting on Arthur’s horrible floral couch, his chest bare, sweatpants low on his hips, hands wide and strong as they touched him, Eames looked like every wet dream Arthur had ever had, all rolled into one. It helped that Arthur had firsthand knowledge of just how skilled Eames was at using what God had given him. If his hands made Arthur melt, his mouth could make him scream, and his cock was an expert at making him beg.

 

Eames’ mouth quirked up, and he let out a breathy laugh.

 

“What?” Arthur asked.

 

“You, sir, are oogling me. I can feel it.” Eames said, smug.

 

“I am not, I’m thinking about how badly I want to burn those pants.”

 

“Why, Arthur, whatever would I wear?” Eames’s hand slid up Arthur’s calf, dragging against the grain of his hair.

 

“That’s really no concern of mine.” Arthur squirmed.

 

“Oh, really? You just going to keep me chained up here, starkers?” Eames’ fingers ghosted over his knee and snuck up beneath the hem of Arthur’s boxer briefs.

 

“The idea does have merit.” Arthur surged up, sliding across the couch to straddle Eames.

 

“I thought you didn’t like me.” Eames teased.

 

“I don’t, but you’re just so fucking hot, I can’t help myself.”

 

“Slumming, huh?” Eames ran his hands under Arthur’s shirt, ticking him before pulling it off.

 

“Might as well, I mean, what else is there to do in this town?” Arthur ground down in Eames’ lap, just to make the other man groan.

 

“You’re a prissy, little shit, you know that?” 

 

“Yep.” Arthur grinned before kissing him.

 

Being with Eames like this was intoxicating, making Arthur needy and impatient. Eames was the King of foreplay, always dragging things out as long as he could, making Arthur whine for more. As far as Arthur was concerned, the months they’d spent hating each other was all the foreplay he’d ever need. Now all he wanted was Eames. 

 

Arthur gasped as Eames latched onto his neck, sucking the flesh into his mouth to leave a mark. He squirmed as the pressure increased, rubbing himself against Eames’ stomach.

 

Eames broke away, laughing. “Eager, are you?”

 

“Yes.” Arthur said, closing his eyes and speeding up.

 

Eames hands slipped into his underwear, fingers dipping into Arthur’s crack.

 

“Please,” Arthur whispered, face tucked into Eames’ neck.

 

“Anything, Darling.” Eames’ fingers went from gentle to insistent as they ventured lower.

 

Arthur plastered himself against Eames’, raising a little to allow more access. Eames shoved his underwear down with one hand and he slipped a finger of the other inside Arthur. 

 

“ _Oh, oh,_ ” Arthur winced at how tender he was from the last time.

 

“Still wet for me, love.” Eames pressed a kiss to his temple, thrusting slowly.

 

Arthur groaned, knowing Eames’ words would only get filthier as they went. The man had figured out early on what a little dirty talk did to Arthur, and he abused it shamelessly.

 

A second finger breached him and Arthur fought against the burn.

 

“Are you sure you’re not too sore?” Eames asked, not stilling his hand.

 

“I’m fine, shut up and keep going.” Arthur bit out, pushing into it.

 

“Oh, love, you’re such a charmer.”

 

“Are you, _ah_ , complaining?” Arthur raised his head to glare.

 

Eames’ smile was wicked as he thrust his fingers into Arthur, deep and hard. “Never, Darling.”

 

Arthur cried out, arching into the movements. Eames thrust a half dozen more times before pulling his fingers out and tapping Arthur on the ass to get him to stand. Arthur clambered off his lap, shoving his underwear off and climbing back onto the couch as Eames fought to free himself from his sweatpants. 

 

“If you were always naked, you wouldn’t have that problem.” Arthur pointed out.

 

Eames pulled Arthur to him, shoving his fingers back inside. He spit into his other palm, spreading the saliva over his cock.

 

“That’s disgusting.” Arthur frowned.

 

“You want to go upstairs for the lube?” Eames raised an eyebrow, dragging his fingers over Arthur’s prostate and making him jerk. “Didn’t think so.”

 

He angled Arthur’s hips forward, the head of this cock sliding over Arthur’s balls and nudging against his hole. Arthur drew in a breath as Eames’ fingers were removed, stuttering it out as his cock slid in.

 

It wasn’t enough lube, and he really was still sore from the last round, only a few hours prior, but his addiction to Eames was strong enough to bear through the discomfort until his body relaxed, stretching and grasping at Eames’ cock on every stroke. 

 

Arthur rolled his body, rubbing his fingers over his own cock head as Eames thrust up into him. 

 

“Fucking hell, Arthur, how are you still so tight?” Eames curved his fingers around Arthur’s neck, pulling him down harder.

 

Arthur started stroking himself, knowing Eames didn’t actually expect him to answer.

 

“Clearly you’re the one that needs to be chained up for my pleasure. I’ll break you in yet, pet.”

 

Arthur giggled, his hand flying over his cock. “That rhymed.”

 

“Hush you,” Eames strained up to kiss him.

 

Arthur lost himself to the surge and roll of their bodies, watching sweat break out on Eames’ chest as he ground Arthur down on his lap. Arthur was nearing the edge when Eames slowed his movements.

 

“Don’t stop.” Arthur snapped.

 

“Um, darling?” Eames sounded nervous, startling Arthur into opening his eyes.

 

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” Arthur stilled.

 

“No, no, everything’s peachy. It just occured to me that we don’t have a condom.”

 

Arthur frowned. “Do you seriously think I didn’t notice that when you spit on your dick before shoving it into me?”

 

Eames rolled his eyes. “You’re such a fucking romantic, Arthur.”

 

“Says the guy who used saliva as lube.”

 

“It didn’t bother you when it was my tongue in your ass.” Eames pointed out.

 

“And it doesn’t bother me now. Let’s go.” Arthur tapped Eames’ leg, bouncing a little.

 

“Christ, wait a minute!” Eames choked out. “What do you want me to do?”

 

“I’m pretty sure we’ve been over this, Eames. I want you to fuck me. Something you’ve been surprisingly good at up until this point.” Arthur said, frustrated.

 

“I, I can pull out. Before, I mean. We’ve never done it without a condom before.” Eames lowered his eyes, a flush that had nothing to do with sex spreading over his chest.

 

Arthur paused. Eames was actually embarrassed about this. Despite his desire to get on with things, Arthur found himself charmed.

 

“I’ll do whatever you want.”

 

Arthur kissed him, rising up before sliding slowly back down. “It’s fine, just come.”

 

“You’re sure?” Eames shuddered, unable to keep from pushing up to meet Arthur’s descent.

 

“Yes, God, do it. Please.”

 

Eames wrapped an arm around Arthur’s waist, twisting to lay him down on the couch while rising to kneel above him. He pushed back in, taking Arthur in hand and jerking him roughly. Arthur threw his arms up to grip the armrest, using it to brace himself against Eames thrusts. 

 

Within minutes, he was shouting through his release, coating Eames’ hand and his own belly. As soon as he was sure Arthur was done, Eames picked up the pace, taking full advantage of how pilant Arthur had become.

 

“God, you’re so amazing. So gorgeous like this, darling.”

 

Arthur hummed, eyes drooping closed as he relished how full he felt with Eames inside him.

 

“Can’t wait to fill you up. You want it, don’t you? Want it all.” He pulled back just enough to hook Arthur’s right leg over his shoulder, planting his own leg on the floor.

 

Eames’ thrusts grew frantic and deep, his main goal his own completion. “I”m going to come. Arthur.” His warning was serious, seeking permission.

 

Arthur smiled up at him. “Yes.”

 

Eames groaned, hips stuttering as he came, emptying himself into Arthur. Arthur huffed as Eames collapsed on top of him, gasping for breath.

 

“Pretty sure I’m going to have to buy Mr. Dale a new sofa.” Arthur told him.

  
Eames laughed, shaking Arthur with it until there were tears streaming from his eyes. “Oh, darling, never change.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the decisions make themselves.

When the calendars arrived a month later, Arthur and Ari hosted a reveal party at one of the nicer lounges in town. Walking around the display of enlarged outtake pictures of the men, Arthur was enjoying his success and eavesdropping on what the locals were saying about the finished product. 

 

“You look really good, Henry,” Eric said. “I look like crap.”

Henry laid a hand on Eric’s shoulder. “No, you look good! I just look better.”

 

Arthur shook his head and grinned. He’d really pulled this off. Despite opposition and scorn, he’d turned the men of the Kalispell Search and Rescue Squad into a profitable commodity. The corporate retreat bookings were up 300% since word of the calendar had spread. It helped that Arthur had included a sneak peak in the corporate brochures.

 

The cherry on top of his success sundae was the victory of hearing Eames admit he’d been wrong about the venture. Arthur had been smug, but he could hardly be blamed. Lately, though, he’d started to feel like his hubris came more from having Eames as his partner, than from being right. With Eames beside him, he found himself entertaining dangerous thoughts of what could be.

 

When Mal had called to ask if he’d booked his flights home for Christmas yet, Arthur had been momentarily confused. He looked around Eames’ kitchen, realizing this place was starting to feel more like home than New York did.

 

Arthur and Eames had so far carefully avoided any talk of the future. Arthur figured they were both unwilling to break the new relationship spell they were still under. Everything else was just too good to interrupt with arguments about expiry dates.

 

Eames arms slid around his waist from behind, pulling him close.

 

“I was wondering where you’d gotten to.” Arthur dropped his head back onto Eames’ shoulder.

 

“Just had to stop and sign a few breasts. You know how it is, darling.” Eames nipped at his neck.

 

“Of course, you’re a big celebrity now. Must make time for the little people.”

 

“Knew you’d understand. Have to keep up my reputation as a dashing rogue. Can’t let my fans know I’m tied down.”

 

Arthur stiffened, pulling away slightly. The mystery surrounding the end of Eames’ engagement still troubled him, but he’d never had the guts to bring it up.

“Darling?” Eames craned his head to look at him.

 

His phone started ringing in his hand, saving Arthur from explaining his apprehension.

 

“Arthur Baxter.”

 

“Arthur! So good to hear your voice!” Lillah trilled.

 

Arthur froze. 

 

“I wanted to call and congratulate you on your new venture. You’re getting a lot of buzz in the industry, Arthur.”

 

Panicked, Arthur disconnected the call. He ran a shaky hand over his hair and keeping his body turned away from Eames.

 

“Arthur, what is it?” Eames asked.

 

“Nothing, wrong number,” Arthur spun around, kissing him quickly. “I need to check with Ari, have you seen her?”

 

Eames frowned at him. “Yeah, she’s by the bar with Yusuf.”

 

Arthur smiled, trying to telegraph his appreciation for Eames letting it go. “Come on, let me buy the hottest guy in the room a drink.”

 

Arthur’s phone rang again as they crossed the room. He switched it to vibrate and slid it into his pocket, flagging down the bartender and ordering two beers. The phone buzzed as he and Eames chatted with Ari and Yusuf, and when Eames pulled him onto the dance floor, sliding their bodies together.

 

“You sure you don’t need to answer that? You jump every time it goes off.” Eames said, running his hand down Arthur’s spine and making him shiver.

 

“Nope, the only person I want to talk to is right here in front of me.” Arthur squeezed his hand where is rested on Eames’ neck.

 

“Is that so?” Eames preened.

 

“Yes, but I have to confess that I like it much more when you aren’t actually speaking.” 

 

“You wound me, Arthur. Me and my sparkling wit.”

 

“Somehow I think you’ll get over it.” Arthur laughed.

 

“Is there something else you’d prefer my mouth be used-for the love of God, Arthur! Answer your damn phone before I do it myself.” Eames’ eyes went wide and threatening.

 

Arthur sighed, fishing the phone out and turning away.

 

“What?”

 

“You’re being very rude, Arthur. I’m trying to tell you your punishment is over. You’ve handled it admirably and now it’s time to come back to work. Come home to New York.”

 

Arthur’s whole body went cold at Lillah’s words. Leave Kalispell. Return to New York. Get his work back. His life. It seemed too good to be true. Behind him, Eames laughed at something and Arthur felt panic consume him. He disconnected the call, barely stopping himself from throwing his phone across the room. 

 

“Hey, Arthur.”

 

Arthur looked up. “Jason. Hi.” 

 

“This turned out great, huh? You should be really proud.”

 

“I am,” Arthur smiled tightly. “How’ve you been? You’ve been MIA since the shoot.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry about that, I’ve been really wrapped up with my new job. Gotta give it my all, you know?” Jason shrugged and ran his hand through his hair.

 

“That’s really great, Jason. I’m happy you’ve found something,” Arthur grimaced as his phone started buzzing again. He declined the call and when returned his attention to Jason, Sonia Kendall was standing with her arm around his waist.

 

“Arthur! So good to see you again.” Sonia smiled, running her hand up Jason’s chest.

 

“Ah, yeah. You too, Sonia. Been busy, I see.” Arthur said, thinking he really should have seen this coming.

 

“Unbelievably! Thankfully I’ve had Jason here to help my wind down at the end of the day. He’s been such a life saver, I can’t thank you enough for introducing us!”

 

“Right. Well, good luck with that. Excuse me.” Arthur brushed past them to where Ari stood, unable to withhold her laughter.

 

“He’s quite the social climber, isn’t he?” Arthur said, choosing a shot glass from the display on the table.

 

“Oh, you have no idea. Eames was right to warn you off him, you know. You should thank him.” 

 

Arthur downed his shot and grinned. “That will never happen, and if you ever tell him I agreed with you I will give Yusuf the password to your porn cache.” 

 

“You wouldn’t dare.”

 

“Care to test me, little girl?” Arthur nudged a shot toward her.

 

“Arthur! Come here a minute!” Henry called.

 

“Duty calls.” Arthur took another shot and winked before making his way across the room.

 

The rest of the night was a blur of laughter, autographs, and flash photography. Arthur shook hands with, and was congratulated by half the town and now all he wanted to do it crawl into bed next to Eames and sleep for three days.

 

Eames was quiet on the ride back to his house. They’d lost track of each other until the party had wound down. Arthur had found him, Ari, and Yusuf around the back of the bar, huddled together around a bottle of red wine. Arthur had offered to drive, the alcohol he’d consumed having worn off over the hours, but Eames assured him Ari had emptied most of the bottle herself.

 

Arthur believed it. Ari was barely standing on her own when she shoved Arthur’s phone in his pocket, mumbling that he’d forgotten it at the table earlier. It appeared Lillah had taken the hint and stopped calling after he hung up the second time.

 

“So, tonight went well.” Arthur said as they pulled up beside his car in Eames’ drive.

 

Eames sniffed.

 

“The calendar looks great, and everyone seems happy with how their photos turned out. Marie was right about not going crazy with the touch ups. Everything looks really natural.” He was filling the silence as they climbed out of the car. Something about Eames’ silence made him uncomfortable.

 

Arthur stripped out of his jacket and groaned. “My feet are killing me. You up for a bath before bed or it is too late already?”

 

Eames shrugged, playing with his car keys.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re never this quiet.” Arthur tried to wrap his arms around Eames, but was rebuffed.

 

“If you want a bath, take one. I’m going to bed.” Eames started up the stairs.

 

Arthur huffed. “Look, is this about Jason? Do you need me to say it, because I will. You were right. He’s an ass, and you were right to warn me. Happy now?” 

 

“I don’t care about Jason, Arthur,” Eames shook his head. “You’re free to make your own decisions, don’t let me stand in your way.”

 

Arthur snagged Eames’ sleeve to stop him from continuing up the stairs. “Hey, what’s this about? I’m lost here and it’s kind of freaking me out.”

 

Eames flexed his hands on the banister. “Ari answered your phone. Said that Lillah woman offered you your old job back.”

 

Arthur stilled, not knowing what the best next step was. He released Eames’ sleeve in favour of pacing.

 

“Okay, yes, she called. And kept calling, but I didn’t really even speak to her. Tonight was about the calendar and the squad, and I wanted to keep focused on that.”

 

“You shouldn’t let that stop you. The work here is mostly done, you could get out of your contract early.” Eames’ voice was flat.

 

“Probably,” Arthur eyed him warily. “But I haven’t even really thought about it yet.”

 

“Maybe you should. You can’t deny that it’s tempting, getting back everything you had before. God knows you never stop gripping about how much you miss everything in New York.”

 

Arthur frowned. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d even mentioned New York, but Eames was refusing to look at him, and every word came out strained.

 

“It’s tempting,” He started slowly. “I’d be high profile again, and the money is certainly better-”

 

“Well, there you go, it’s settled,” Eames growled, descending the stairs. “It’s everything you wanted, how can we compete with that?”

 

“No, it’s not settled.” Arthur protested, startled by the anger radiating from Eames.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Lots of reasons. Jesus.” Arthur ran a shaky hand down his face.

 

“Let’s make a list, shall we?” Eames stomped to the desk to find paper and a pen.

 

“Eames, let’s just go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning.”

 

“Nope, need to do it now, else you’ll just lay awake all night, wondering. Best not to waste any more time.” He scribbled on the top of the paper, flinging the pen over his shoulder when it didn’t leave a mark.

 

“This really isn’t a decision I want to make right now.” Arthur said, trying to stay calm. 

 

“Why not? There’s nothing keeping you here, is there?” 

 

It was the way Eames said it that made him mad. The accusation tossed so casually over his shoulder, like he couldn’t be bothered to confront Arthur directly about his feelings. Whatever it was that had been growing inside Arthur, the warm spot that rooted itself deeper with everyday he spent with Eames, crumbled. 

 

He’d been foolish to think Eames felt as strongly as he did. His reputation spoke for itself, and yet Arthur had chosen to ignore the mountain of evidence in front of him, just like he had for Jason. God, first Robert, then Jason, and now this. He really had a type, didn’t he?

 

“It’s not like we didn’t know you were a limited time offer. That you’d be on a plane back to civilisation the minute your contract wass up. This is what you’ve been waiting for, innit it? A chance to get away clean.” Eames threw another pen.

 

“I’ll thank you not to put words in my mouth, _Mr. Eames_.” Arthur snapped.

 

“Ahh, there he is!” Eames turned throwing his hands in the air. “There’s the New York Arthur, the one with the giant stick up his ass. The one who gave up so much to come save our sad, little town.”

 

“Do you seriously think I won’t miss anyone here? That I haven’t been happy here?” Arthur asked, fists clenched at his sides.

 

“I’m sure you’ll keep in touch at first. Maybe even invite Ari to go visit once. But it won’t be long before we’re just a funny story you tell at yuppity parties. You’ll forget all about us in no time.”

 

“And what will I be to the people here? A joke? Some city slicker that showed up and couldn’t even find his way around town. But hey, he helped us buy a new helicopter, so I guess he wasn’t completely useless. What was his name again?” Arthur knew he was yelling, and he knew Eames hated that, but he couldn’t help it. His heart was breaking and Eames didn’t even care enough to notice.

 

“Maybe that’s all you ever wanted to be.” Eames spit.

 

Arthur lurched backward. Eames knew, he knew how hard it had been for Arthur to adjust to life here. He knew because they’d talked about it. He’d been the one to assure Arthur he was doing well, that people valued him. He knew how much Arthur feared being mocked, how badly he wanted to fit in. He knew how hard Arthur had  _ tried _ .

 

“People don’t change, Arthur. They are who they are.” Eames looked away again, the anger having drained out of him.

 

“I guess now I know exactly who you are. You almost had me fooled there for a while.”

 

Eames nodded. “I must have been a con man in a past life.”

 

“Well, thanks for living up to your reputation, you know how I hate surprises.” Arthur grabbed his coat and walked out. 

  
When he pulled up in front of his own house, Arthur dialed Lillah, leaving her a voicemail and accepting her offer.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur takes Manhattan.

It was almost Christmas in New York, and despite his return to his former glory, Arthur couldn’t help but feel that something was off. It wasn’t until Mal told him about the condo Dom had found for their newly expanded family that he realized he missed Kalispell. Mal prattled on about the new three bedroom being so much more of a home for them because of the baby, and Arthur thought of Eames and longed for his own feeling of home.

 

It wasn’t that Arthur was unhappy in New York, he had Dom and Mal, and he adored his niece, but he regretted how things had ended with Eames. They hadn’t even spoken between their fight and Arthur leaving town. He wasn’t the only one who hadn’t reached out, but that didn’t stop him from feeling like a coward.

 

Late at night he often found himself scouring the internet for news footage covering the success of the calendar. There had been quite a bit, but none of it showed even a glimpse of Eames. He’d spoken to Ari on the phone about how well the calendar was doing, and how the corporate retreat program was blossoming under Ari’s direction because of all the work Arthur had done, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask about Eames. 

 

Ari had followed his lead and instead told him about Yusuf sneaking his belongings into her apartment, and the toupee that had appeared on Mayor Bob’s head about the same time the first tv cameras showed up.

 

At work, Arthur went through the motions, but his job felt empty and meaningless. Trying to concoct clever deceptions so the public would buy into whatever the client was selling wasn’t the challenge it once seemed. He was powering through a frustrating meeting with a prominent fast food restaurant when his assistant interrupted with an emergency call.

 

“Mal?” Arthur answered, trying to recall the infant cpr course Mal had made him take with her.

 

“Arthur? It’s Ari.”

 

“Ari, what’s wrong, I’m a little busy right now.” He smiled tightly at Lillah’s glare from the conference room.

“There’s been an accident. The squad went up the mountain after some lost hikers late last night. Arthur, Eames fell 60 feet when his harness broke. They had to airlift him to the hospital.”

 

He could hear the sob in Ari’s voice and his blood went cold. “Is-is he going to be all right?”

 

“They don’t know yet. The weather shifted and he was out in the elements for quite a while before they could get the chopper in. God, if we didn’t have the helicopter, Arthur-”

 

“I know. I just-”

 

“Arthur, you need to get on a plane. He needs you here when he wakes up.”

 

“Ari, I can’t,” Arthur paused to clear his throat before continuing. “He doesn’t want me there.”

 

“Arthur Baxter, I’m going to be very frank with you, so you better be listening. Eames has been a wreck since you left. He’s stopped going out, he barely talks to us even when we show up on his doorstep. All he does is work and mope. You broke him, and now he’s hurt, and you have to come fix things.”

 

“It’s not that simple.” Arthur protested, turning his back to Lillah not-so-subtly tapping her watch.

 

“Yes, it is. You’re both idiots who never should have let this go on as long as it has. Look, this isn’t my story to tell, but I’m just really done with the stupidity of this break up. Yusuf told me that Eames didn’t walk out on his fiance. The fiance left after Eames found out the guy had been sleeping around. With Jason.”

 

“What?” Arthur croaked.

 

“Yusuf said Eames was devastated, but begged him to stay, to give them a chance to fix things. But the guy left anyway.”

 

Arthur’s eyes burned and he slumped against the wall.

 

“That’s why he couldn’t ask you to stay, Arthur. I don’t think he could risk being rejected like that again.”

 

“So he picked a fight and all but dared me to leave? What sane person does that?”

 

“I dunno, it kinda sounds like something you’d do to him. Your whole relationship pretty much started on a dare, didn’t it?” Ari spoke softly and Arthur could hear the hospital page system in the background.

  
  


“He’s going to be fine.” Arthur said.

 

“I hope so.”

 

“No, he has to be, because when I get there, I’m going to fucking kill him.”

 

Arthur hung up the phone and grabbed his coat from his office. Lillah hurried toward him, heels clomping on the marble floor.

 

“Where the hell do you think you’re going? She hissed, clutching at his arm.

 

Arthur shook her off. “Lillah, you’re a terrible person. You just are. You’re one of the worst people I’ve ever met. You’re callous, and shallow, and I think you may actually be a sociopath.”

 

Lillah blinked at him. “So?”

  
“So?” Arthur laughed. “So I’m done. I’m going home.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happy ending we've all been waiting for!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck around and left wonderful kudos and comments! You've all made this so enjoyable and satisfying!

Eames’ bed was mussed, but empty when Arthur arrived. He had turned to head back to the nurse’s station when the toilet flushed and Eames swore, fighting to get the door open without dropping his crutches.

 

“Jesus, Ari told me you weren’t going to make it!” Arthur said, relief flooding him.

 

Eames froze, shock and then caution crossing his face. “Come to see me shuffle off this mortal coil, Arthur?”

 

“Don’t be an asshole.” He said, closing the door.

 

“But I do it so well.” Eames mumbled, grunting with the effort of sitting on the bed and maneuvering the cast that covered him from knee to toes.

 

“I’d say you had the market cornered, but Ari assures me I’m quite the contender myself. Let me help you.” Arthur reached for the leg, dodging the crutch Eames swung in his direction.

 

“No, I can do it myself. Need to show the docs I can get along on my own or they’ll never let me go.”

 

“You’re not going to be on your own, Ari and Yusuf, and-”

 

“Arthur, why are you here?” Eames asked, exhausted from his struggle, or the conversation, or maybe both.

 

“I came to tell you you’re not allowed to leave me again.” Arthur said quietly.

 

“I never left, you did. I’ve been right here the whole time.” Eames’ voice was flat, his eyes on his lap.

 

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. Jesus, would you at least look at me?” He waited for Eames to meet his gaze. “You checked out the moment you thought I might go. I understand now why, but it wasn’t fair. You didn’t even give me a chance to make my own decision. You didn’t give me the chance to choose you.”

 

Eames nodded, clenching his jaw. “And if we could go back, would you?”

 

“I can’t know for sure, but I’m choosing you now. If you’ll have me.” Arthur stepped closer to the bed.

 

Eames studied his face closely before leaning back, his hands folded behind his head. “Hmm, I’ll have to think about that. I’m an invalid now, you see, and some people find that very attractive.”

 

“I understand if you need some time.” Arthur tugged at his jacket.

 

“Good.” Eames closed his eyes.

 

Arthur watched Eames in the awkward silence for a solid minute. “Okay, time’s up, what’s your decision?”

 

“Still a shining example of patience and chivalry, darling.” Eames sighed, eyes still closed. 

 

“Chivalry’s overrated.”

 

Eames opened one eye. “Does this mean you’re going to let me take your temperature with my special thermometer?”

“Again with the thermometer?” Arthur rolled his eyes, brushing his fingers over the blanket next to Eames’ hip.

 

“Obviously the pain killers have done nothing to dull my superior intellect.”

 

Arthur huffed, steeling himself. “Seriously, Eames. I’m sorry I left. I’m pretty certain that I’m in love with you, and I’d like to stay.”

 

“Only pretty certain?”

 

“No, but I find it’s best to have plausible deniability when my heart is breaking.” Arthur’s voice cracked.

 

“God, Arthur, come here.”

 

Arthur collapsed in Eames’ arms, earning a groan when he nudged the cast.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry, darling, you can make it up to me.” Eames dropped a kiss on the top of Arthur’s head.

 

“I will, I’ll make it all up to you. I never should have left.”

 

Eames pulled back. “I didn’t exactly make it easy to stay.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, I should have fought harder for you. I was wrong.”

 

Eames made a pained face. “Was that painful to admit?”

 

“Unbelievably.” Arthur laughed quietly, wiping his eyes.

 

“I was wrong, too, you know.”

 

“Oh, I know.”

 

“Good. We can spend the rest of our lives making it up to each other then.” Eames cupped Arthur’s face, pulling him into a kiss.

 

“Starting today.” Arthur agreed, running his nose along Eames’ jaw.

 

“Excellent, I was just thinking how lovely a sponge bath would feel.” Eames growled.

 

“Eames, we’re in a hospital. They have nurses for that.”

 

“Hmm, blow job?” He countered.

 

“You’re exhausted and on pain medication. You’ll probably pass out.”

 

“How about a nice snog and a cuddle?”

 

Arthur grinned. “That I can do.”

 

“With my penis. Lock the door, darling, I wouldn’t want to corrupt an innocent candy striper.”

 

Arthur shook his head and laughed. Then he locked the door.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr at [teacuphuman09](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/teacuphuman09)
> 
> Comments are always most welcome!


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